The Triathlete Bride: It's Toddler Time

OMC Women's Tri

2011-07-08T13:09:00.000-07:00

I'm on a tight budget, but if I get go ahead on doing a "surplus" from my teammate (husband), I'm racing the OMC Women's Tri in Sept.

Had the old trusty Goldmember out for a gorgeous ride (even with a double flat!), have done a few runs, and have a super flexible training plan in the works.

So, Um.. hi. I'm posting here again!

Kickball Should Be in the Olympics

2011-04-05T12:43:00.000-07:00

In 2004 I played in the Eastern Jackson County Adult Dodge Ball League. My team, primarily loaded with a bunch of well, wakeboard bum loadies and my mom, managed to take it all the way to a Number One at the championships. There were also a lot of adult beverages.

Borrowed from DeadSpin.com
http://deadspin.com/#!5788716/kickball-rec-league-captain-sends-out-fantastically-bitchy-email-to-his-underperforming-team

Kickball Rec League Captain Sends Out Fantastically Bitchy Email To His Underperforming Team

A.J. Daulerio — An Atlanta-area kickball team recently suffered a demoralizing 20-0 loss. Yes, we're familiar with how serious some people are about their kickball and it's never fun to get blown out. However, if you have to play with this fun lovin' bunch of sad-sacks it's still inexcusable to go all Earl Weaver on them no matter how frustrated you get. Especially over email. Lucky for us, one player decided to share this tantrum with the world.

From the player:

I signed up as a free agent in a kickball league with my friend Margo. We hoped to be assigned to a team that would win at least a few games but that would prioritize fun and beer over victory. Well...it didn't work out that way. Luckily I never had a chance to attend one of our games before the team captain sent out this fantastically hostile email after the team's first loss. I wasted $50 on signing up, but the entertainment value of this email is priceless. I redacted all of the names mostly because this is the only time in my life I foresee an opportunity to redact something.

Enjoy!

[sic]'d

————— Forwarded message —————

From: [redacted]

Date: Tue, Mar 29, 2011 at 11:31 PM

Subject: Our game tonight

To: [redacted]

Let me ask a real simple question... What was that? Seriously, did you guys just think you could show up and win? That was pathetic. Again, pathetic. I know we kid around a lot and try to have fun and a good time, but what is the point if you guys aren't even going to try? I can count several instances, and not to name names but I think I will this time just to get my point across...

[redacted], are you just trying to show off your speed by letting the ball drop in front of you when you play the outfield so you can run and get it? joke. Do you not care? If you don't care that is fine, but some of us do.

[redacted], how about running out your kicks after they're in play instead of just jogging down to first base as though it doesn't matter. joke. you got very lucky the ref called you safe. you were out.

[redacted], your obp% is the worst on the team. I thought you played before.

[redacted], great pitching and defense... yeah right, I can count about 3 or 4 plays in my head where you just allow them, basically, to reach base and score, and you probably cost us 5 runs single handedly. great job dude.

Some of you guys are striking out, others can't catch a pop fly, others don't even know which base to throw the ball to. Are you guys adults. Thought this was an adult kickball league, as in you act like adults and play the way you are supposed to.

Do you want to play?

I thought you joined this league to be competitive and win, but maybe I thought wrong.

Tell ya what, if any of you guys are going to bring that lame shit out to field next week, why don't you do us all a favor and just stay home and watch t.v. instead. Seriously, I am embarrassed to be a part of this. We LOST 20 - 0 tonight. That is a freaking joke.

Again, I know we joke around and try to have fun, and I'm not trying to be Mr. Serious here, but that was not fun. I am not kidding, don't come next week if you are going to act like a bunch of children out there.

Thank you to the people who did try tonight:

mainly [redacted], myself, [redacted], and [redacted]. and [redacted].

The rest of you better think about what I'm talking about unless you don't care in which case we don't want you coming out anyway.

FUCKING JOKE

Now this could be an ironic way of making fun of other people who take their recreational kickball too seriously. If it is, great. If not? Well, bless Captain FUCKING JOKE's swollen heart because with those type of people skills he probably has a future of aimless middle management at an office supplies retail chain ahead of him.

Um Hai.

2011-02-28T12:51:00.000-08:00

7 Months Old! What!?

Give Thanks

2010-11-23T11:29:00.000-08:00

Ten things I'm so very grateful for.

1. My Son. I'm blessed that I was able to get pregnant without really having to "try." Some women try and never can concive, or do and lose the pregnancies. Thank God, we didn't have to endure this. He's the most amazing, wonderful, awesome thing that I will ever do in my life.

2. My Husband. We made TEN YEARS this year. It's gone by quickly. I'm looking forward to many many more.

3. The Rest of My Family and Friends. I have such a huge extended family when you include our friends. We are so blessed to have many people we're close to.

4. My Job. There's so many Americans right now struggling to make ends meet. While we aren't rolling in it (hardly with the new expense of daycare), we're still able to tuck away a little into savings every two weeks. My husband works extremely hard to provide for our family, and we have been able to take that hard work and make it a beautiful home, a new pick up and car, and really want for nothing, within reason. I'm not bragging, I'm counting blessings.

5. My Health. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy. I'm fit and strong and becoming more so with every day. I want to live a long time, and taking care of myself will help me get there.

6. See Number 5 (Cars, House, Plasma Screen TVs). We want for nothing. Praise be to God.

7. My Trainer, Angela. Without her and my new workout buddy (and competition!), Cheryl, I wouldn't have the slightest idea what I'm doing in the figure arena.

8. My Mother Visiting. To say the least, my mother hasn't been in fabulous health over the last couple years. She came in September and her grandson got to meet her, and she was doing great. I pray it's not the only time.

9. My Staff and Coworkers. The structure at my work is changing and a lot of people are leaving or being shut out. I can't say I entirely agree, although I know the direction we're headed in is the right one. I'm Thankful for the people that I work with and those that work for me.

10. Everything. Every night when I go to sleep, I try to thank God for each of the blessings my family has. I never get all the way thru, but in case God reads triathlon blogs,

Thank You.

Belated Photo Friday

2010-11-07T09:25:00.000-08:00

Photo Sunday??

My love.

Ironman Access: Cancelled and Thoughts

2010-10-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

WTC is ingenious. Hey, let's pre-charge $1000 to give someone a chance at something, that really isn't all that amazing... and people will actually pay it!?

I've been reading about this for a few days now, and between SlowTwitch.com, Liz's All Access (which was hilarious), and a few others, I've found something I think is spot on.

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/pace-of-chicago/2010/10/relax-its-just-the-ironman.html

...Worth 1000 Words. »

Relax! It's just the Ironman.

David Wallach on 10.29.10 at 12:06 AM

David Wallach

I am your typical BOPer. I love to train more than racing. If you have a race, let me know, I'm there!

Yesterday (Thursday) The World Triathlon Corporation announced the launch of the Ironman Access Program. In a nut shell the Ironman Access program gave people a week "head start," to sign up for an Ironman. The catch, it came at a cost of $1000 for a year membership and then $600 for the race entry.

If you have ever tried to sign up for an Ironman event, then you know it can be a test of patience, since most of their U.S. events sell out within 24 hours, this option did alleviate some of the stress of signing up, if you could afford it.

I received hundreds of e-mails from people who were upset and hurt. The Ironman Corporation took an immediate beating on the blogs, chat rooms and on Facebook. A lot of you out there, though this was unfair, that it took away from the "everyman feel of the sport," and was a greedy move by The World Triathlon Corporation.

The end result was a classy move by the WTC. In a video message delivered by a tired looking President Ben Fertig, they canceled the entire program and refunded the money to the athletes who jumped at the chance to get a head start on signing up for their dream at finishing an Ironman. Click here to see the video.

I think what the WTC was a great PR move, but believe it or not, I completely disagree with what they did. The thousands of you who lost your minds when this new program was announced blew a great opportunity to help the sport of triathlon grow. Hold on, before you start your "have you lost your friggin' mind e-mail," hear me out.

The Ironman is just a brand. What you did by running around like a bunch of whiny kids was put them in a bigger position of power. All of the calls, e-mails and blogs weren't making the people at the WTC mad but instead sending the message, " yes, we love you more than anything, we live for you, we love you Ironman, forget Rev3, forget Silverman, all we care about is your brand, please be nice to us. Congratulations you are a monopoly."

That's right, you blew it. Yesterday was a line in the sand, and instead of saying "enough, we refuse to cross this line," you all jumped over it like good lemmings. Instead of getting over the fact that Ironman is just a brand name, and there are dozens of other 140.6 races out there that offer more difficult courses, easier sign ups and better athlete experience, you collectively dropped your pants and took it in the back side. This was the chance to support other races. This was your chance to help triathlon grow, to realize that it's not about the brand name, but the accomplishment. You thumbed your noses at the other race directors and let them know, "you are an after thought Rev3 or Silverman, a cute diversion after we do the Ironman."

The Ironman Corporation is a business, make no mistake about that. They are in the business of making money and growing their brand, just like Coke, Disney and Jay Z. The difference between The Ironman and Coke, is that The Ironman is a lifestyle brand, it effects all of us at such a deep level, that it becomes personal, we are invested in it, it can change your entire life. Coke, you drink it, you burp, it quenches your thirst, the experience is over. As a lifestyle brand when they make a change that seems unfair or greedy, it hurts, you feel betrayed and "left out in the cold," as a lot of you have stated. It's understandable, but at the same token, get over it.

This is not an "everyman sport," as one of you said in an e-mail. This is a rich guy, type A intense sport. The average salary of an Ironman is $150,000 plus. Now there are a lot of you out there(including me) who make much less than that, but this is not "everyman or woman's sport," that would be Social Club Volleyball. If you cross the finish line at an Ironman event you are part of the fittest 1% people in the world. 1% out of 6,697,254,041 people in the world and the Ironman Corporation is trying to make a profit off of that tiny margin. Yes kids, they are a business.

This isn't new, bands have been doing it for years. Yes, membership to the Jonas Brothers Fan Club is only $34.99 and you get early access to pre-sale ticketing before the general public, but then have you have to pay hundreds for the tickets, t-shirts, parking etc. Eventually the t-shirt will fade, the music will be dated, the Jonas Brothers will end up in re-hab and the experience will be gone. With Ironman the memory lasts a lifetime, how much is that worth?

You didn't have to do this. It was an option, like the Community Slots and volunteers getting early entry. Some people spend a lot more than $1000 to travel to a race, rent a car, pay for a hotel and volunteer, so they get an early entry. Should we protest that as well? Should volunteers only be local folks who don't spend a ton to volunteer and cut to the front of the line?

I applaud the WTC for making a smart business move, listening to their customers and staying on top of their game. When the Ironman entries jump to $1000 per race, remember this day and your victory over "the man," you won the battle but lost the war.

Read more: http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/pace-of-chicago/2010/10/relax-its-just-the-ironman.html#ixzz13lAtShoe

Yo Baby, How 'Bout Some Fries With Dat Shake?

2010-10-12T18:55:00.000-07:00

I'm dragging this one over from Figure'n It Out because it's too good not to share.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010 Is That Sound Medical Advice?

I've been killing it with my workouts, and for the last week, have stuck very closely to Coach Lady's meal plans... but then I have this happen.

Le Bebe has been acting strange the last couple days, and I had grown concerned. I called the peditritrician, and was directed to one of the nurses. "I don't think I'm producing as much milk as normal, and I know my baby is trying to eat more," I tell the nurse. "Have you started an exercise routine or changed your diet in anyway?" Duh. "Yes, I'm still eating quite a few calories, but it's cleaner food, not any junk, and I have started working out at the same intensity as I was pregant, and before, just different activities." "I see," she begins, "you know, it takes nine months to put on the weight, so give yourself nine months to take it off."

Bitch, please.

Aside from those nagging couple L-B's, I had that 39lbs' ass whopped in a month. Didn't seem to hurt my milk production then!

"Yes, I know. I lost the weight in a few weeks. I'm actually starting to prepare for a fitness competition." (I say fitness, very few people know what fitness/ figure are, let alone there's a difference.) Ooooh. Oh? Oh. Oh! WTF does OH mean? "Well, that's going to be very hard to continue breastfeeding then." I didn't go into when contest prep starts, and that he'll be close to 6 months, my goal for BF'ing, but REALLY? Then she tells me, and this is verbatim:

"Go to McDonald's and get yourself a quarter pounder and a shake."

... chirp ... chirp...

"I'm serious."

So, nurse's diagnosis; I'm not getting enough fat in my diet. But really, McD's? Is that sound medical advise?

I skipped on the shake, sounds like a good cheat for tomorrow! Instead I opted for FOUR ounces of colby jack cheese and a jumbo dog tonight. Sounds fatty to me, yes?

Photo Phriday

2010-10-01T11:40:00.000-07:00

I left him!
I left Squid to the care of the child watch attendants at the gym today. It was really really hard, but I did it! And, HE DID IT! Didnt cry til right before I came to pick him up. Yay!

Speaking of gym. WOW. What a lift session. I hurt. Bad. It's been since oh.... early 2009 since I lifted at all, and that was very sport specific, so it's totally different. I did three lifts today that I've never even attempted before: Deadlift, Romanian Deadlift, and Front Bar Squat.

There's more info at Figure'n It Out.

But on to today's topic:

Photo Phriday.

Well That Figures

2010-09-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

I have a new blog dedicated solely to the figure journey. The Triathlete Bride will remain focused on life and triathlon (one in the same, right?).

Here's the link: Figure'n It Out

SWAGGER WAGON

2010-09-15T11:27:00.000-07:00

I think the Toyota mini van commercials are pretty funny.. but, this makes me want to BUY one.

What Now?

2010-09-13T17:11:00.000-07:00

Since the Squid is swinging peacefully away, I have two hands and am not covered in spit up, how about a little catching up? We're getting settled in comfortably with a routine, well some semblance of one. Although we do have one thing that's a new addition aside from the Squid, of course. A "for sale" sign. As in: Buy our home. Yeah, I know, good joke, eh? But, we're giving it a try. We've been browsing houses since this early spring. We should have tried to really sell then, but we didn't. Mostly my fault. So we're sitting in our fabulous home, but we have our eyes on two floor plans that will function a little better for our expanded family. If you want to buy a house, look in south Blue Springs, Mo.

Yesterday was a beautiful day. I packed up the Squid, put on the Garmin and went for a jog. Well, I didn't wear the right bra ("sport" Nursing bras are not even close to being sporty) so there was way more walking then I wanted to do. He still doesn't fit in the jogging stroller, so we're making the regular one work for now for our jogs. I didn't bother with the HRM strap, but believe me, the data was more for shits and grins than for recording.

I still have some "issues" so swimming is out for a bit, and cycling will still be uncomfortable for a while. Instead, I'm doing a little research. I'm looking forward to my next athletic challenge of Figure competitions. I'm trying to decide if Bikini might be the better class for me since it requires competitors to be a little softer, but if I am close, I'll sign up for Figure and add Bikini as a crossover class if it's allowed at the particular show I choose. Right now I'm looking through about three local shows between April and June of 2011.

It's a bit intimidating looking at the girls in competitions, but as I dig a little deeper, I am seeing posing practices of women months out from competition looking like, well... NORMAL woman. Definitely firm and fit, but it's nice to know that I'm not as far off base as I am feeling. Also, I've seen so much of the Pro women at comps like the Arnold Classic and Olympia that I thought these goals were really unrealistic. Then I realised I have to start somewhere and found these local ladies looking Uh-Maze-Ing (and attainable) practicing for a show, ya know, pre-spray tan and such:

PS

Number 6 (the Blonde second from right) is local Irongirl Gretchen Duncan!

This is pretty much where we're at right now. I'm enjoying the last month until I have to go back to work. I'm completely dreading it: I do NOT want Squid going to day care. We found a nice place and I'm sure it will be fine, but that's doesn't make me look forward to it.

I've got a LONG way to go to even get ready to get ready for Figure, but I'll get there (Stopping with the amount of ice cream I've enjoyed recently!)

Here we are, off on our journey. Momhood. Figure competitor!

Psst

I'm still doing triathlons, but it will just be sprints or olympics next year!

Hi. An Update.

2010-08-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

Colic.

Colic effing sucks.

House for sale.

Someone come buy it.

Exhausted.

Need more sleep.

Couldn't be happier.

Eli: A Race, er, Birth Report

2010-08-05T14:33:00.000-07:00

Cramps. The, I have held my pregnant pee too long cramps. At least, that's what I thought it was.

Saturday, the 24th (Lil' Dude's official due date), I went to my pedicure lady. "Massage me." She agreed. It was time. There's this old wives' tale that having your feet massaged will bring on labor. I need a cut and polish anyway.

Husband and I had a relaxing afternoon. Went to bed at a decent time. At some point, that's when the cramps started.

By 5:30am, I had decided they weren't pee cramps. Still laying in bed, snuggled together, we started timing them. Seven minutes. Six minutes. Five. They were consistent. And getting closer. I said I wanted breakfast. Husband climbed in the shower. I knew a trip to the Big Biscuit would never happen. I made us a breakfast at home. One way or another, this would be our last Sunday breakfast as Eric and Courtney. We knew next Sunday we would be The Staton Family. Bittersweet.

I paged the on-call doctor. I knew it was going to be Dr. Dickhead, the OB I switched from. My own doctor called me back instead. "Well, if there's a bit of bite to them, come on in. We'll check you out. Worse case, you'll come back tonight." My terrific Dr. Lady had switched on-calls with Dr. Dickhead. AWESOME.

We arrived at the hospital just past 9am. Husband walked in holding my hand. I told the nurse, as she hooked me to a monitor, that I wasn't sure if they were real contractions. There wasn't much in my abdomen area, but my back hurt like hell. Her response: "Uh-oh." That's not good. She checked me for dilation and effacement. 2cm. Maybe 60%. Not numbers you want to hear when starting labor. I had made no progress from the previous week's OB appointment. After a quick scan over, she confirmed my back pain. Sunny side up. Straight OP. (differences here) Back Labor. Lil' Dude was kicking and squirming and giving no relief. Like a squid in my stomach.

I was told to walk. So I did. Husband and I walked the hallways. And walked. And walked. The contractions were getting stronger. And stronger. I needed to sit. Then I was hit with the WHAMMY. Pain hard enough to make tears roll from my eyes, and vomit surface in my mouth. This is the real deal. After 90 minutes of waddling, and eventually needing to stop during contractions to focus only on breathing, I was checked again. Almost 4cm, 80%. Progress, but not much. Dr. Lady decision time: Well, you're coming back tonight anyway, so why make two trips? Let's get some active labor started. We were well past inducing, now, we were augmenting. Whatever. I just want my baby!

I was moved to a room where we would remain for our stay. The pain was getting tough. Dr. Lady broke my water. It was painless. I even asked "Would this hurt?" but she was already done. I was hooked to an IV tower, and told to walk some more. I made it about 10 minutes. I was still on the no pain medication train. Barely. I agreed to Stadol. But I wanted to use the birthing ball and whirlpool tub first. I made it through one contraction on the birthing ball. Fuck the tub. Give me the narcotic. It made me itchy. ITCH-EE. I was given Benadryl. The combination of Benadryl and Stadol made me sleepy. During this time, Eric called the fams. My dad and grandma came in. I mostly remember it. I was hurting like hell. My contractions were now double peaking, something that comes with back labor. I was "sleeping" between contractions, and waking right in the peak. So, I was out for about two minutes and yelling in pain for two minutes. Effing A. I remember saying something along the lines of This Fucking Sucks. Sorry grandma.

Get me the epidural. NOW.

Eric held my hand. Well, he held still while I tried not to break his bones. I recall during a Stadol coma contraction him telling me that there are pins in that hand, and he can feel them. Sorry honey. Let me take a second to say what an amazing, huge, terrific help Eric was. He never left my side. He held my hand through every contraction. Stayed right next to me. Perfect. They kept me turned half on my side hoping to get Squid to roll over. It didn't work, but they kept me in that position.

The epidural was painless. Not that I would have felt anything besides the explosion rocking my core. All was right with the world once I had my epidural. I still felt every contraction, but had full control over my legs and could feel the "urge to poop" coming on. I wasn't numbed entirely. Exactly what I hoped for. At 3pm, the time my epidural was administered I was at a 6, and almost 90% effaced. I took a nap.

At 4pm they came in to check me again. My nurse, an angel named Shannon, told me it was time. Dr. Lady agreed. You're at a 10, 100%. Let's have a baby. You're ready to push.

Whoa. Shock waves. Can't believe it. I'm about to have a baby!

The nursery nurses came in. There was a little meconium in the fluid, so they wanted to be sure they were ready in case the Squid needed to be intibated. That was a scary thought, but I figured the best I pushed, the less likely he would be to inhale any goo.

In my birthplan I had expressly said NO to a mirror. But once I was ready to go, I asked for one. I am SO glad I did. The first couple pushes are practice really. The nurse asked if Eric could count for me. He did and did great. I did ask him to count slower. I wanted to push for as long as I could in every contraction. There wouldn't be any pushing for four hours BS here. Squid was ready. Husband did get up the guts to look in the mirror one time. It was maybe a bit much for him.

After 35 min. Shannon said STOP. STOP STOP! I panicked. I could see his head! The Dr. Lady was scurrying into her gear. I had to sit out two contractions. That was awful. I could see his hair (OMG! beautiful dark hair, just like my husband!). I reached down, I touched him. I bawled. I was moments away from mommy-hood. Gathering myself, I readied for the big transition. Here we go. I looked at Eric, he started counting.

One contraction.

Two contraction.

50 minutes of pushing. Here's your baby.

The emptying of your abdominal cavity is the craziest feeling ever. I immediately felt lighter, yet as if I would burst open. The nursery nurses looked him over. He inhaled no meconium. He was wailing. It was amazing.

Eric got to hold his hand while he got cleaned up. Then he was able to hold the Squid while the placenta delivered (no, we didn't keep it to eat it. Google that. No, don't) and my stitches were completed (2nd Degree. Not fun, but not horribly awful.).

I was then given my little bundle. Little is kind of a loose term.
Our Squid weighed in at 9lbs 1oz, and 21.5" long. The measuring tape only went to 21". The nurses had to extend the tape out to get him measured.

Ten perfect fingers (that look like Eric's).
Ten perfect toes.

I am in love.

Eviction Papers

2010-07-22T10:56:00.000-07:00

Waiting for the dr at the 39 week appointment.

Yes, I really am this amazing looking.

Eric, waiting oh so paitiently.

37 weeks

Well, here we are. Week 40. The end-all be all of pregnancy. Unless you go long. We're going long. Luckily, we're only going a few days.

Today, Dr Lady informed us we're still measuring big, as in currently at 42weeks (I say we- that's me, Lil Squid Dude, and Husband Dearest), and that, despite all of our best efforts to dialte and efface, we got nothin'. Dilation maybe at 2cm., and effacement is the Berlin wall. Effing A. Even that thing got taken down.

Then, she asked the magic words:

How do you feel about induction?

I didn't really have an answer. I desperately want a thru-the-hoo-ha delivery, and prefer to go no drugs. However, if the squid is growing at the rapidly expanding rate that he is, my little fatty will be too big to squeeze through these hips of mine. Thus, induction is our best chance. Inducing is scary though. The rates of c-sections do increase. But having a 9lb baby would also increase the odds of a tummy delivery. We're gonna take our chances. Dr Lady feels confident. We'll go with that.

I have an eviction notice now issued for our Lil Squid. Papers to be served Sunday 8 PM. He can leave on his own anytime he wants. However, Monday armed guards will be removing him from the premises. My grandma swears Full Moon means baby deliveries. Look at what I found today:

Full Moon Phase: 2010 Jul 26 01:38 Mon

Either way, I'm gonna be a mom soon.

Weird.

Professional photos courtesy Monika Herbert at MONPhotography.com

All the Pregnant Ladies

2010-07-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

Watch and enjoy.

23 Miles Straight Down

2010-07-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

Either this guy is the biggest idiot ever (120,000 FEET!!!?? that's like, 23 MILES), or has the biggest balls on the face of the planet (or edge of outerspace). Here's a picture of the guy. Yes, he's kinda hot.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/skydiverplansrecordbreakingsupersonicspacejump/print

Skydiver Plans Record-Breaking Supersonic Space Jump

Zoe Macintosh

A skydiver is making progress with plans to leap from near the edge of space in a dive that would break world records and the sound barrier.

Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartner is a step closer to attempting the feat after a series of recent high-altitude test jumps. He plans to make his ambitious jump attempt later this year.

Starting in the stratosphere at 120,000 feet above the ground, Baumgartner will leap from a capsule suspended by a helium balloon near the boundary of space.

Sponsored by the energy drink company Red Bull, Baumgartner's mission — called Red Bull Stratos — seeks to extend the "safety zone" of human atmospheric bailout last set in 1960 by diver Joe Kittinger. This limit defines the uppermost altitude a human being can safely jump from.

"Right now, the space shuttle escape system is certified to 100,000 feet," said the mission's medical director Jonathan Clark, a former NASA flight surgeon. "Why is that? Because Joe Kittinger went there. You've got a lot of companies that are vying for the role of being the commercial space transport provider for tourism, for upper atmospheric science, and so on. These systems, particularly during the test and development phase, need a potential escape system, which we may be able to help them provide with the knowledge we gain." [Graphic: Earth's Atmosphere From Top to Bottom]

Taking the leap

A team of aeronautics experts recently led Baumgartner through a week of testing meant to illuminate any possible weaknesses in his equipment and to familiarize him with the skills needed to navigate the conditions expected to assail him as soon as he opens his vessel door.

Only a few feet above ground in a capsule dangling from a crane on Sage Cheshire Aerospace test grounds in California, Baumgartner practiced exiting and stepping off his hot-air balloon. Even a slight stumble during this step could cause dangerous alterations in his in-flight position only moments later, as well as reduce his chances of actually breaking the sound barrier.

"The team anticipated that the capsule would tip forward when Felix moved his approximately 270-pound self from the seated center position of the capsule to the step-off platform on the edge of the capsule," Red Bull Stratos Aerial Strategist and Skydiving Consultant Luke Aikins told SPACE.com. "What the exercise demonstrated was that the capsule moved only about a foot, which tells us that we don't have to worry about the capsule swinging back violently when Felix steps off."

Baumgartner proceeded to practice his step-off technique from higher up by doing bungee jumps while wearing a pressurized spacesuit and helmet. At 200 feet above ground in an abandoned fairground, the setting was a far cry from a high-altitude jump, but mimicked the sensation of trying to achieve the necessary forward rotation, said mission technical director Art Thompson. After a few leaps, one team member described Baumgartner's performance as "perfect."

"We still have an unknown, which is what happens to my body when I break the speed of sound, but at least we're going to know that I'm able to handle the step-off," Baumgartner said.

Improved equipment

Lastly, the pilot passed several high altitude test dives at 26,000 feet over the desert in Perris, California. Thanks to a new chest pack aligned to one side of his body, Baumgartner exhibited a harmonious passage compared to previous trials a year earlier.

The previous chest pack had jammed his helmet, blocked his vision and constrained his movement during descent and the critical landing.

During the recent tests, body positions and suit deflation went well enough that the team accomplished all of its objectives.

Dive to death

No simple showman, Baumgartner wondered if the dangerous pioneering mission would mean his own death.

"My biggest concern is that dangerous part of the project which we just haven't thought of," Baumgartner said in a statement. "We try to think of every contingency, but there's always going to be something that you would never imagine could happen. And that might kill you."

The possibility has proved daunting enough to impact his decision to invite his own mother to watch the dive.

"If everything is successful, I would love to have her on site, because the first person that I would want to talk with is my mom, of course," he said. "But if something goes wrong, I definitely don't want my mum on site, because I don't want her to witness a fatality. So I still haven't made up my mind."

According to a press officer for Red Bull, the actual experiment will take place somewhere in North America in 2010. Along with a range of experts and test pilots, mentor and former record-setter Joe Kittinger will also be present.

So, homeboy's estimated freefall time will be just over 5 min, 30 seconds. I google's some pictures of Joe Kittinger's jumps, and well, it just looks like a bad idea.

Come Swim In My Meet!!!!!!

2010-07-12T13:36:00.000-07:00

2nd Annual YMCA of Greater Kansas City

Masters Summer Sizzler

Vivion Road Family YMCA

Kansas City, Missouri

Saturday, July 17, 2010

HOSTED BY: Vivion Road Family YMCA and the YMCA of Greater Kansas City

LOCATION: Outdoor pool area at Vivion Road Family YMCA

FACILITY: POOL Outdoor 50 meter by 25-yard pool, offering 6 lanes

of long course competition and 2 lanes of warm-ups.

TIMING Manual stop watch timing and back up will be used.

RULES: 2010 United States Masters Swimming rules will govern the meet.

OFFICIALS: Meet Directors: Sara Garrett and Courtney Staton

WARM-UP AND

START TIMES: Saturday morning warm-ups at 7:00am with competition beginning at 8:10

am. Two lanes of 50 LCM pool will be available for warm-ups immediately

before and after each event. Indoor pool will not be available to meet

participants. All times are Central Standard Time.

SAFETY: In the interest of safety and accident prevention, spectators, coaches and

swimmers are asked to observe all posted pool rules and to conduct

themselves in a safe manner.

ELIGIBILITY: Swimmers are not required to be registered with USMS or YUSA

Swimming. This is an open, non-sanctioned event.

ENTRIES: Swimmers may enter up to six individual events. Please note, events may

be run back to back. Breaks will be given between events if time is

available. Bring volunteer, receive 20% off. Volunteer must be available at

warm ups and stay through entire meet.

ENTRY FEES: YMCA Members: $20 up to four events. $5.00 charge for each additional

event up to six events. Community Members: $30 up to four events.

$5.00 charge for each additional event up to six events.

Make checks payable to: YMCA of Greater Kansas City and mail with

entry packet.

ENTRY LIMIT: Swimmers may enter a maximum of 6 events.

DECK ENTRIES: Deck entries will be accepted at the discretion of the meet directors at an

additional $5.00 charge. Deck entries will not be seeded with an entry

time. Deck entries will be seeded as “NT”.

ENTRY DEADLINE: Pre-registration is due by Wednesday, July 7, 2010 for discounted shirt

offer. Entry forms, release waiver and entry fees are due to meet director

by Monday, July 12, 2010 at 11:00 pm. All entries received after this

deadline will be deemed “Deck Entry” and may be entered with “NT” for an

additional charge.

EVENT SHIRTS: Cost of event shirts is $6.00 with pre-registration. If registered after July 7,

2010, cost of shirt is $12.00. An order form is included with entry sheet.

MAIL ENTRIES TO: Email entries to saragarrett@kansascityymca.org

Mail to:

Vivion Road Family YMCA

ATTN: Sara Garrett, Meet Director

1101 NE 47th Street

Kansas City, MO 64116

816.453.6600

SEEDING: All events are timed finals and will be seeded according to all applicable

YUSA Swimming rules. Seed times will be times entered on the entry

form. Entries with no time (NT) will be seeded by random draw.

Notification of scratches will be appreciated in case lanes are needed for

late entries.

Events will be swam co-ed and mixed age groups for purpose of seeding.

Awards will be given based on gender and age group.

The 800 Free, 400 IM and 400 Free will be seeded fast to slow and

combined if necessary to expedite the meet. We reserve the right to limit

any event as necessary due to the session limitations. The courses and

events will be split or combined at the discretion of the meet referee in the

interest of running the most efficient meet.

Times entered shall be in Long Course Meters. If no LCM time available,

please refer to:

http://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/results/conversions.asp

SCRATCHES: All scratches should be submitted to the timing table as soon as possible

to provide lanes for possible late entries.

AWARDS: Awards will be given to top three finishers in each age group

category for both genders. Age groups are as follows: 18-29, 30-39,

40-49, 50-59, 60 +. Awards ceremony will take place at TBA.

SCORING: There will be no team scoring.

SWIMMERS

MEETING: A swimmers meeting will be held at 8:00am prior to the start of the

meet.

CONCESSIONS: There will be a concession area provided in the spectator area. Heat

sheets and t-shirts will also be for sale in this area.

Order of Events

1 400m Indiv. Medley                          8 100m Freestyle

2 200m Freestyle                                  9 100m Backstroke

3 100m Breastroke                             10 50m Butterfly

4 50m Backstroke                              11 200m Indiv. Medley

5 100m Butterfly                                 12 50m Freestyle

6 400m Freestyle                                13 800m Freestyle

7 50m Breastroke

Crown of Favor

2010-07-11T07:39:00.000-07:00

I don't often speak of my views on religion, because, honestly, I'm not sure what they are. I know I believe in God, and I pray every night when I fall asleep. I usually ask for strength in regards to whatever troubles I have, pray for my friends and family whose troubles out number mine, and always thank Him for the wonderful things, blessings, in my life.

My mother was raised in the strict Catholic family, which to some extenct, back fired on here. My father's background is Christian based, but really, that's about all I know. I was left somewhere in the middle.

I haven't attended a church service or mass in years, minus weddings and funerals. Usually, when I see someone preaching on television, I become annoyed. There's been one televangilist whom particulary irritates me. I have been so turned off by his appearance and mannerisims, I would always scoff and change the channel.

Not long ago, I turned on the TV and walked away, listening to the backgrounds. The minister, Joel Osteen, carried on. I don't know if it's coincidence I'm up early on Sunday mornings, or if I've started doing it on purpose, but I've started to catch many of his sermons.

Today, the message is on daring to call yourself what you are, before it happens. Osteen is discussing how a person needs to act like the person they want to be, even if they haven't achieved it yet. There's much talk of a Crown of Favor. Something that God has given all of us. We're already in His favor, we don't need to sit around waiting for favor to fall upon us.

And why should we?

If I want to be succesful in a career, I have to tell myself *I AM* successful. Not I will be. Afterall, what's the difference in the am and will? Only the space in your mind. Osteen discusses those with addictions- some day, wishing, hoping, praying to be free. Instead, these people need to say to themselves, I AM free of my addicition. I have overcome.

Even if they haven't.

Even when it's a struggle. You're beat up, down trodden, and feeling low. You hope to have blessings in your life. You ask God for His favor. You think some day things will change. God has already made the change, He has presented you in His favor, now it's time for you to accept them. Claim the changes. Claim the blessings. Your name is already on it, come and get it.

It's the difference of One Day to I Am.

What Crown of Favor will you wear today? What can you do right now to make yourself in a better light? Instead of sitting around today telling myself "I'm going to be fit, I'm going to be beautiful, I'm going to be wealthy," I can tell myself that I AM all of these things.

It's the power of believing.

What can you believe? What can you be?

ELF Says It Best

2010-07-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

Like so many of my brain dead moments, instead of coming up with my own material, I'm choosing to plagiarize.

"Shortly thereafter I broke down in tears. I know I need to just last it out a little bit longer and I know that I’M ALMOST THERE. But I’ve got to be honest with you. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. And I’m not even at the hard part yet! I felt weak for crying but at the same time, it’s kind of like in Ironman training when you find yourself stopped in your long run, 30 minutes away from the end, crying because you’re hurting, because it’s hot, because you know, dammit, that there will be no more relief for another 30 minutes because there is still work to be done. You know you’re going to get back out there, finish up the last 30 minutes and suffer because that’s who you are. You don’t give up. And when you’re pregnant, giving up is not even a choice.

There is no DNF.

Like in training, you’ve got to let yourself hit rock bottom, bounce back and prove to yourself, ok I can do this. I can last it out a little longer, I can push a human out of me, I can take care of that human for life. And the scary thing is that if I can do all of that I know…I can do anything."

To read the full entry, click here for Liz's blog.

Heading to 38 week check up or whatever the feck week it is now.

Sprinkling labor dust to Schwartzie, who's due today. Read about her here.

For the Fun of It

2010-07-07T13:10:00.000-07:00

I've started to check up on SlowTwitch.com again. I am living vicariously through those racing and training this season, plus it's always a great read when the Tour is in action.

Today, it got me to thinking about upcoming races, events, etc. I know I've talked about this previously, but, I decided I want to outline a post-preggo schedule. This is in my head what *could* happen, but has no bearing on what may be in reality.

October 17, 2010 KC Half Marathon http://www.waddellandreedkansascitymarathon.org/
April 2, 2011 Rock The Parkway Half Marathon or 10k http://www.rocktheparkway.com/
April 22, 2011 NANBF Liberty Figure http://www.naturalbuildfitness.com/
April 31, 2011 ABA KC Championships: Figure and Bikini or Sports Model http://www.kcbodybuildingonline.com/html/kc_championships.html
May 22, 2011 Kansas City Triathlon Sprint http://kansascitytriathlon.com/
June 12, 2011 Kansas 70.3 Relay http://ironmankansas.com/ (Right, Melissa???)
July 30, 2011 Win for KC Tri Sprint http://www.winforkctri.org/
September 10, 2011 OMC Women's Tri Sprint http://jcprd.com/special_events/omc_triathlon.cfm
October 16, 2011 KC Half Marathon http://www.waddellandreedkansascitymarathon.org/

Crunch Time- 17 days to go

2010-07-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm feeling a lot of pressure. Both internally and externally. There's two types of internal pressure: The mygutisgoingtoburstandababyisgoingtoshootoutorImightpoopeverywhere pressure, and the GottaGetItDone running laps in my head. Luckily, everything at home is well taken care of. It always makes me think of the poem 'Twas the Night Before Christmas when I start to mentally list off what's done.

'Twas the weeks before birthing, when all through the house
Not an animal was stirring, not even my gigantic dog;
The crib sheets were folded, the Halo Sacks washed,
In hopes that Lil' Dude soon would hurry the eff up and get here.

I know, I know. Poet I am not.

However, at work, I feel like I'm struggling to get a head. Budgets and revenue and all that mambojambo is fine. I have great staff that has helped to set up up for a terrific year. We're well ahead of the curve (and most of my peers, thank you very much, not that it's a competition or anything okay okay, everything's a competition) and things should be running smoothly whenever I leave (Now!? ugh, nope not yet). But I still have these little projects- Testing Recertifications and Parents Handbook for the association- that I have to accomplish. Technically this stuff isn't due until the end of August, but I'm definitely going to be unpregnant and sorta busy by then.

Side story: One of my water fitness instructors keeps telling me I'm going to be late. That's fine, but she says I'll be late like her. As in, she swears she was 6 to 8 weeks late with all three of her children. Grant it, she's a little older and kind of senile, but there's no effing way she went 8 weeks overdue. And she swears she knows when she got pregnant: She says the morning after she "did the nasty" (her term, not mine) she woke up throwing up and knew she was pregnant. Okay, so add bat shit crazy to the list of things she is... along with being the lady that stands naked between the double mirrors at the sink in the locker room shudder. This woman also attended BURNING MAN last year. She's 70 something.

Anyway, I'm scrambling to get these months long projects done, and do the day to day things things sometimes take days (I waited for a pool inspector for 6 hours yesterday. That was 6 hours I spent basically twiddling my thumbs instead of getting my normal duties done, which I now get to do today). Something's gotta give somewhere. I once heard the analogy that directors are professional plate spinner's, trying to see how many plates we can have going at once, and eventually, hope the one's that we drop aren't the big ones. I think that's the most accurate description of my job. Not that it's a bad thing, per se, but it makes life very entertaining to say the least.

If I can manage to keep the big plates from falling, we're doing okay. At least until I come back in October.

I keep telling husband that I wish Lil Dude would just come out. But he had a valid point last night. "You should be enjoying the moments you have to yourself right now." I have much to learn, Obi Wan Kenobi, because that was so true. Luckily, he's giving me a lot of space to enjoy those moments- yesterday I came home, sat in the glider in the nursery and finished a little light reading (Actually it was pretty rough- Tina dropped off a copy of The Lovely Bones when she was down. It's amazing, but no easy summer read). Then he cooked a Delicious Bass aka Chicken Kabobs and spicy potatoes. After dinner, we set off separately with the dogs to try to encourage a little pelvic-engaging action. I had a woman in the neighborhood actually called out to me from her porch step that I should "Go home and sit down, before that baby falls out." Seriously, lady? I don't even know you.

That was the plan, though. Encourage Lil Dude to fall out.

Last night, before going to bed, husband asked "Are you going to go into labor tonight?" All I could say was I hope so. No such luck.

I did get up to pee five separate times though. I may be approaching a new record.

Yep.

2010-07-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

Still pregnant.

Damnit.

Oh SlowTwitch

2010-06-29T13:58:00.001-07:00

I love SlowTwitch.com. When I have a spare moment, I giggle at all the ridiculous, and seldom not-ridiculous, things the TriGeeks say.

I however, am completly inamoured with the idea of LANCE racing Kona. I'm not sure if he has said he WILL, or if he has, WHEN, but I love the thought of it.

Here's a couple links of the yammering that goes on on a daily basis.

Lance at Kona but how will he get there?
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/cgi-bin/gforum.cgi?do=post_view_flat;post=2886542;page=1;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC;mh=-1;guest=105664639&t=search_engine

Anything on The Women's
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/gforum.cgi?forum=7;

Why is there a Clydesdale/Athena Category?
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/Slowtwitch_Forums_C1/Triathlon_Forum_F1/Why_is_there_a_Clydesdale/Athena_Category_P2879412/

If I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner

2010-06-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

* So, Texas gets it's very own full distance Ironman. First race is May 21, 2011. I'm not sure how I feel about all these IMs in the US. There's just so many. I loved it being more exclusive. However, it does provide a lot more options. And, should I ever get to do another IM, a spring one might be the only thing that really works for me. Considering how much I work, specifially in the spring and summer, I don't have the time to devote to training. Not to mention I will need LOTS of time with Lil Dude and Husband, plus household crap, I think spring might be the best option. So, maybe 2012? http://ironmantexas.com/

Off the top of your head, how many Ironman races will be held in the US in 2011? What about in North America? Answer will be at the bottom of the post.

* My dad's 52 birthday this year happens to fall on one of the coolest sporting events ever: Motocross des Nations. And guess where it is: Lakewood, Colorado! http://www.mxthundervalley.com/rev/?page_id=256 This event is usually held in some totally awesome European venue, and this year it's back in the 'States. I know he wants to go. I know husband wants to go. I actually kind of want to go, but not sure if Lil Dude would be into the 10 drive in a motorhome (I wonder if that thing even runs...) at 9 weeks old. I may have to just sent pops and Husband.

*Tomorrow Husband and I are taking our maternity pics. And, of course, I went in to get my nails done, and they were in such bad shape, nail lady said to soak off the acryllics, let them heal, and redo them in a couple weeks. Le Sigh, I really wanted pretty nails. I should take better care of my hands. Then there's this swollen pregnancy face thing. It just started about three days ago, but I have puffy jowels, and a swollen bridge of my nose. It doesnt help I have a honkin' zit right there, but seriously. And my feet and ankles have puffed considerably... but nothing like this lady:

I mean seriously. That's just fat feet, right?

* I have to pee.

* I'm just under 36 weeks now. So, I am giving Lil' Dude until about the 10th of July, and I'm running stairs and doing jumping jacks. He's gonna get an eviction notice soon. To help, I've started taking Evening Primrose Oil Capsules this week. Julie's doula recommended them, then they were on my list of things in birthing class to help induce or ease into labor. Here's something I found regarding the practice:

Evening Primrose Oil and Red Raspberry Leaf Tea
Neither will actually induce labor. While some lay midwives will argue that statement about the Evening Primrose, which is the reason it is not recommended until 36 weeks or "full term", almost all sources with experience agree that it does nothing that the body was not ready to do on its own. I will repeat this at the end of this section, to make sure you understand this, as there is a lot of confusion and misconception surrounding these two substances.
Evening primrose oil is an excellent source of prostaglandins, which we already determined readies your cervix for labor. It can be taken orally as soon as 34 weeks, and can be applied directly to the cervix at full term (36 weeks). The general recommendation is two 500mg capsules per day until week 38, at which time you increase to 3-4 per day. The entire capsule can be inserted vaginally (inserted just before bed, it will dissolve before the first time you wake to use the bathroom), or you can use the oil on your fingers for your perineal massage, then also rub on your cervix (assuming you can reach it). Applying directly to the cervix is optimal, but the beneficial ingredients are absorbed through the external skin or the stomach also.
Red raspberry leaf tea is a uterine tonic used by Native Americans for thousands of years. It tones your uterus by helping to "focus" your Braxton Hicks contractions. Think of its job as helping your uterus do more effective exercising while you are pregnant. It does not "cause" contractions and can be safely used throughout pregnancy. It is contraindicated for those having complications "just in case", however, by most doctors who do not understand its use. Many women safely use it from the moment they learn they are pregnant at six weeks until months after delivery. (It helps to tone the uterus after delivery as well, shrinking it back to size more quickly and reducing bleeding.)
Again, neither of these actually causes labor to start.

Just to clarify: I'm not sticking capsules up my hoo-ha. They are taken orally, thankyouverymuch. Still in search of: Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (Pregnancy Tea). Julie and Chrissy have both found the tea, so I'm going to get them to get me some. I went on an exploration that included Consentino's, Nature's Pantry, and Hy-Vee, all to giagantic fails.

* I may or may not have tried on my boob pump. Yes, it will suck something out. I didnt turn it up high enough to see if it would suck something out right now, but, I'm pretty sure it could. I also stuck the vaccum displayed at birthing class onto husbands arm and pumped. I think he might have a hickey the size of a peanut butter jar. I started laughing really hard because I couldnt figure out how in the hell to release the pressue. We are *that* couple in class.

Answer:

US Ironman events, including Kona: 9.
North American events: 11.

Over It.

2010-06-14T07:48:00.001-07:00

I'm so over it.

Pregnancy isn't horrible. Everything is fine (minus the excessive Braxton-Hicks, the mild swelling of my feet and legs, and the new puffy cheeks), but really, I have nothing to complain about.

But I'm over it. I just want to have this kid. I want to see him and smell him and hold him in my arms instead of my uterus.

I also want my body back. I mean, I get that I have to share my body, or my boobs anyway with the lil' dude and lil' dude's dad (hell it's the truth), but really, I'd like to have a little more control over my body.

Aside from getting thru daily life for the next four months plus, I have started having new dreams. I have now twice dreamnt of doing a figure competition. Hubs and I very briefly discussed it, and after making silly muscle man poses in our living room, he agreed that it will be a great and challenging way to get back in shape post baby, without taking the time away from Lil Dude and himself, like training for an IM would (or half IM, or anything that requires longish runs before it's warm enough to put Lil Dude in the running stroller... or bike rides off the

trainer). Soooo, me, next year, May-ish? :)

In other news, I went to watch KS 70.3 June 6th. It was a beautiful day for racing. Mostly overcast, not incredibly hot. Chrissie Wellington knocked another out of the park. She set a new course record of 4:07.49. Um, that's like FAST. .. crap, I was going to post pictures, but I just realized I left my camera in another bag.

Alright, back to worky jerky I go. Wooo hoo.

YMCA of Greater Kansas City hopes to continue growth under new leadership - KansasCity.com

2010-06-14T07:32:00.000-07:00

YMCA of Greater Kansas City hopes to continue growth under new leadership - KansasCity.com

First Friday Randoms

2010-06-04T10:21:00.000-07:00

It's the first Friday of the month. And, it's random.

Randoms:

-I had free Chick-Fil-A today. Got a coupon via email and chowed down. pretty much the entire YMCA, plus the city went. it. was. awesome.

-I've been kicking myself for not going to watch the KC tri two weeks ago. It was pretty much in my back yard, I even got up in time to go, but I let husband talk me into getting back in bed. That was nice, but I've been jonesin' for some triathlon. Sooo, I'm planning to go to Larryville to watch KS 70.3 on Sunday. It's a great local (while 90 min for me!) race, and I love to watch the pros. Supposedly Chris Leito and Chrissie Wellington are on the starting line up, but I thought Chrissie was injured. Not sure though.

-Flossy-lassi just dared me to cheer in a bikini on Sunday. I just might. ha!

-Last weekend Smashley and I bought a kiddie pool at wal-mart. It didn't fit in the Jetta, so it went ON the jetta. We drove 5 mph the whole way home. It took about 20 min. I love my kiddie pool.

-I truly dislike anything bar-be-que. I know, blasphemy. Just because I'm from Kansas City, it doesn't mean I have to love the stuff. However, husband dearest smoked ribs on the grill last Sunday, and they were the greatest thing ever.

-This week and next are my busiest weeks of the summer. Well, they lead into it, anyway. So many (work) activities.

-Yep still pregnant. Belly button still in. Legs are not swelling too visably.

-I got the pictures from the Cupcake Baby Shower. Cutest shower ever. EVER. No, I said EVER. I mean it.

-I have a cold. It's my father's fault. At least, that's who I'm gonna blame. Nothing sucks worse than having a cold in 90+ degree heat. Wait, having a cold in 90+ degree heat at about 8 months pregnant sucks worse.

-Did I mention how jealous I am of everyone racing KS? Even more jealous of everyone racing Branson. That's gonna be an awesome race.

Me. An Update.

2010-05-25T08:38:00.000-07:00

This is me.

28 weeks

30 weeks

31 weeks

31 weeks.

While Eric was taking pictures, Zeus came in an plopped down on the ground. He is the saddest looking dog. He obviously knows that something's up.

I've officially gained 21 lbs. My goal was 25, and I'm going to pass that, but I'll still be way under 60 lbs. I think I'll end up somewhere around 30 lbs., which is healthy I suppose. I definitely got the dreaded stretch marks. I didn't honestly think I would avoid them, but there was this little glimmer of hope. The belly button is still quite in (except for when Eli kicks right behind it- not only is that painful, but it actually flattens out my BB while his foot is there. Fuuuurreeaakky.). I took our my navel ring. Only because when someone (usually unwanted) touches (grabs) my stomach the first thing they would say is, "Oh MY GAWD! Is that your belly button!?" Then I'd have to explain that it's my belly ring, and I'd get all kinds of reactions:

Can I see? - No.

Why are you still wearing that? - Because I can.

That's bad for the baby? - You're Stupid.

Can I see? - No.

I have stopped running. Which is sad, but, well, it's... HARD. I get in a swim every so often, but that's really it. I'm going to try to get out and walk more, but this heat and humidity is ridiculous. For my own enjoyment, I want it to be mild this summer, however, for my work's perspective, I need it to be hot as hell. Not sure what we'll get.

PS here's a reminder: This was 7 weeks.

Boob Gate 2010

2010-05-07T13:34:00.001-07:00

My boobs are huge. Prior to being pregnant, my boobs were BIG, but not ridiculously massive. I could still race in a swim suit if I wanted to. However, going from a 36 D to a 38 F (as in What The F!) is not exactly taking too kindly to me.

Pull up a chair, and let me illustrate what has now become Boob Gate 2010.

Yesterday morning I got work feeling less frazzled than normal, mostly because I looked cute. I was wearing this super cute green dress, and a black one button cardigan. It's so comfy. However, the tube top part has started to become a little snug. No big deal though. Here's what I think I looked like.

Cute, right? Well, I thought it was a darling outfit.

I had a 9am appointment with a potentional new lifeguard. She's young, and impresssionable. Just the way I like them- makes them easy to train. What's this got to do with Boob Gate 2010? Please, stay with me.

We hold the interview in my office. It's got a long L shape desk that sits up against a window overlooking my pool.

See? Here's my chair, and the chair the interviewee was in. The interview went well, but about halfway through she seemed to get really nervous. Like, Really nervous. And she stopped looking at me. What is with teenagers that makes them all of sudden get weird? I thought maybe it had something to do with my discussing what a tight ship we run, and how I have a zero tolerance for a lot of things. We also discussed appearance and professionalism. That's really important to me, as I put (way too) much emphasis on how I look, as that's how people percieve you.

She was all fine and dandy, but a little weird averting eye contact. Maybe she had a short attention span. Regardless, things went well, I told her I was intrested in having her on my staff. In conclusion, I stood up to shake her hand and thank her for coming in. That's when I turned to my left to look out at my pool.

That's an old picture of my office. I now have a dry erase board on the outside that also acts as a mirror of sorts for me. As I was looking out at my guard, I realized, through the reflection of my window-mirror, I now looked like this:

That's right, ya'll. My super super cute little green tube dress betrayed me, my cardigan, and giant nude colored nursing bra.

The Girls Were Out. The tube part had slide down to right underneath my bra. I hadn't felt a thing.

All of my right boob, and pretty much all of the left. Out. Actually, they weren't entirely alone. You see, I was leaning forward for most of the interview, with my gut hanging... and the Girls just sitting on top.

So, here I am, talking to the new hire about the Christian principles of the YMCA, and I have my tee-tas in her face, three feet away.

Stunned, I pulled my top up and stood there, looking away. I finally turned back towards her, and apologized. I AM SO SORRY. I DID NOT KNOW.

She then says, "I was going to say something but I thought it would be rude."

Ooookay. Let's go back to young and impressionable. If I were interviewing a 30-something, she would have said "Sorry, your top is down." I could have pulled it up and continued. No, teeny bopped Tina didn't have the balls to say to her potential new boss "Ma'am, your tits are out." I politely suggested that it might be rude NOT to tell someone the milk jugs are swinging freely.

I'm going to skip the second interview and send her to training. I don't really want to see her again until I feel less like a flasher.

Awesome.

Chill Out, Yo!

2010-05-03T13:50:00.001-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/05/03/o.well.lived.life.key/index.html?hpt=Sbin

Lighten up on yourself to have a better life
By Elizabeth Gilbert, O, The Oprah Magazine
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Author: Too many women stress over whether they are accomplishing enough
Also, women find more faults when comparing themselves to other women
Writer urges women to accept mistakes, letting others be more perfect
RELATED TOPICS
Stress
Relationships
(OPRAH.com) -- Nearly all the women I know are stressing themselves sick over the pathological fear that they simply aren't doing enough with their lives.
Which is crazy -- absolutely flat-out bananas -- because the women I know do a lot, and they do it well.
My cousin Sarah, for instance, is earning her master's degree in international relations, while simultaneously working for a nonprofit that builds playgrounds at woefully underfunded public schools.
Kate is staying home and raising the two most enchanting children I've ever met -- while also working on a cookbook.
Donna is producing Hollywood blockbusters; Stacy is running a London bank; Polly just launched an artisanal bakery...
By all rights, every one of these clever, inventive women should be radiant with self-satisfaction. Instead, they twitch with near-constant doubt, somehow worrying that they are failing at life.
Sarah worries that she should be traveling around the world instead of committing to a master's degree. Kate worries that she's wasting her education by staying home with her kids. Donna worries that she's endangering her marriage by working such long hours. Stacy worries that the capitalistic world of banking is murdering her creativity. Polly worries that her artisanal bakery might not be quite capitalistic enough.
All of them worry that they need to lose 10 pounds.
It's terribly frustrating for me to witness this endless second-guessing. The problem is, I do it, too. Despite having written five books, I worry that I have not written the right kinds of books, or that perhaps I have dedicated too much of my life to writing, and have therefore neglected other aspects of my being. (Like, I could really stand to lose 10 pounds.)
Oprah.com: Why women never hear the good stuff
So here's what I want to know: Can we lighten up a little?
As we head into this next decade, can we draft a joint resolution to drop the crazy-making expectation that we must all be perfect friends and perfect mothers and perfect workers and perfect lovers with perfect bodies who dedicate ourselves to charity and grow our own organic vegetables, at the same time that we run corporations and stand on our heads while playing the guitar with our feet?
When I look at my life and the lives of my female friends these days -- with our dizzying number of opportunities and talents -- I sometimes feel as though we are all mice in a giant experimental maze, scurrying around frantically, trying to find our way through.
But maybe there's a good historical reason for all this overwhelming confusion. We don't have centuries of educated, autonomous female role models to imitate here (there were no women quite like us until very recently), so nobody has given us a map.
As a result, we each race forth blindly into this new maze of limitless options. And the risks are steep. We make mistakes. We take sharp turns, hoping to stumble on an open path, only to bump into dead-end walls and have to back up and start all over again. We push mysterious levers, hoping to earn a reward, only to learn -- whoops, that was a suffering button!
Oprah.com: 10 life lessons you should unlearn
To make matters even more stressful, we constantly measure ourselves against each other's progress, which is a truly dreadful habit.
My sister, Catherine, told me recently about a conversation she'd had with a sweet neighbor who -- after watching Catherine spend an afternoon organizing a scavenger hunt for all the local kids -- said sadly, "You're such a better mother than I will ever be." At which point, my sister grabbed her friend's hands and said, "Please. Let's not do this to each other, okay?"
No, seriously -- please. Let's not.
Because it breaks my heart to know that so many amazing women are waking up at 3 o'clock in the morning and abusing themselves for not having gone to art school, or for not having learned to speak French, or for not having organized the neighborhood scavenger hunt. I fear that -- if we continue this mad quest for perfection -- we will all end up as stressed-out and jumpy as those stray cats who live in Dumpsters behind Chinese restaurants, forever scavenging for scraps of survival while pulling out their own hair in hypervigilant anxiety.
Oprah.com: 6 steps to a regret-proof life
So let's drop it, maybe?
Let's just anticipate that we (all of us) will disappoint ourselves somehow in the decade to come. Go ahead and let it happen.
Let somebody else be a better mother than you for one afternoon. Let somebody else go to art school. Let somebody else have a happy marriage, while you foolishly pick the wrong guy. (Hell, I've done it; it's survivable.)
While you're at it, take the wrong job. Move to the wrong city. Lose your temper in front of the boss, quit training for that marathon, wolf down a truckload of cupcakes the day after you start your diet.
Blow it all catastrophically, in fact, and then start over with good cheer. This is what we all must learn to do, for this is how maps get charted -- by taking wrong turns that lead to surprising passageways that open into spectacularly unexpected new worlds. So just march on. Future generations will thank you -- trust me -- for showing the way, for beating brave new footpaths out of wonky old mistakes.
Fall flat on your face if you must, but please, for the sake of us all, do not stop.
Map your own life.
By Elizabeth Gilbert from O, The Oprah Magazine © 2010
Elizabeth Gilbert is the author of "Eat, Pray, Love" and "Committed"
Subscribe to O, The Oprah Magazine for up to 75% off the newsstand price. That's like getting 18 issues FREE.Subscribe now!
TM & © 2010 Harpo Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Goals: To Set, or Not to Set

2010-05-01T09:31:00.000-07:00

Goals should be a attainable, achievable. Something that when you reflect on them, you know you can make, no matter how difficult the path to checking them off may be.

When I was 18, I really wanted to do figure competitions. Well, having some cheerleading/dance/gymnastic background, I was thinking more about fitness, than figure. But I'll get back to that. Figure competitions, themselves, are sort of silly. They consist of dozens of women from 18 to Grandmas strutting their stuff, literally, in rhinestone bikinis and clear stripper shoes. The pose, not in the bodybuilding type poses, but more of a "Look at how muscle x is separated from muscle y, but there are clearly no striations, because that would be body building.." I dunno, maybe not. However, these women are the fittest looking ladies you'll ever see. No, they don't look like this all the time, that would be damn near impossible. But, coming up on show time, they cut and lean like it's no one's business. I could be wrong, but I think about 70% of the training is actually nutrition. Eating this meal, at this time, for this purpose. It's amazing.

So here's what I'm kind of thinking about: I'm seven months el pregneato, due in July. I realistically probably wont be doing much of anything athletically for a while. Okay, a couple months. As much as I want to say a couple weeks, we all know that's bullshit. There's stitches and stuff, and ya know, as some friends pointed out, you generally will want to shower and shave your arm pits instead of going for a run. (PS, babies can't go in running strollers when they're a couple weeks old. That means you can't leave unless Husband is available to watch the Little Dude). I digress.

I have found a little information online, most of it about contest prep (looks like a 12 week program). I'm gonna need a pre-pre-prep course, and then a pre-prep. But, it looks like, if I really buckle down, get in workouts when I can and WATCH MY NUTRITION to support myself and the little nipple suckler I hope to have, I may have myself ready to start some type of program come, oh, January or February. Let's do the timeline, shall we?

Give Birth: July 24th ish

Maybe consider some type of workout: September 18th (8 weeks. I also realize this reduces the likely hood of me running the Kansas City Half Marathon in October- at least at any reasonable speed)

12 week prep date: Feb 1, 2011

Prospective date of competition May 2, 2011: I know there's one today, so I'm just setting a year out.

Doable? I dunno. I've emailed a few people, some trainers, some competitors, to get their thoughts. I really need to know what's realistic. I won't do it if it will take away too much time from Little Dude. I want to be healthy and happy. But I also don't want to lose sight of my athletic self. I know training for IM won't be in the cards for a while, and I want a challenge like that.

So, I might have a new goal for next spring. Or I might not. Before I can say yes, I need to know what is achievable. For now though, I'm not telling myself no.

I Miss It.

2010-04-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

I really miss triathlon. I did two tris last summer. I was busy, had other plans. Now, more than ever, I miss it. As the weather perks up, and spring mornings remind me of my pre-dawn runs before work, and the warm breezes of evening usher in the smells of the grill- which, believe it or not, remind me more of riding my bike thru Lake Lotawana wishing I was grilling, than of the food itself- I want to training. I want to be racing.

I'm starting to reach a point in my pregnancy that makes me think "Oh crap, nothing will be the same." I know it's all for the better. This was something I wanted bad, but just didnt expect to happen so soon. Now I'm wondering if I did enough living pre-parenthood. I know my life isn't over, thank God, but I also know I can't just pack up and go for a bike ride when I get home from work a year from now.

It's too early for me to start planning what races I'll attend, and mostly if my mind, body and family will stand for another Iron distance race next year. I'm doubting that, and looking more toward 2012. That would be five years from my first Ironman. I can't believe it's been three already!

Yesterday, I was mulling over race results from the Boston Marathon. My old neighbor qualified last year and raced. Looks like he did well. I was thinking to myself if I would ever be fast enough to qualify for Boston (no). But what about Kona? My chance was probably in the 18-24 age group, which, I have now left (le sigh). But, I think I have a much better chance of making it in triathlon, than in running alone. And, probably in the half distance, thru courtesy of a rolldown... okay you're right this is all wishful thinking. If I'm going to Kona it's by lottery. And, it will probably be ten years down the road. But that's okay. Because, according to Bree Wee, moms are faster anyway.

I keep telling myself that I can do the Kansas City Half Marathon in October. I mean, I did a 10k at 20 some weeks pregnant, so I can struggle thru a half sans baby in belly. Part of me, the sick, sadistic part, says to race the full, but I know better than that. Right now, I need to sit back and relax. Let myself be hungry for triathlon again.

He's uh Gonna Come in Here, and Kick My Ass.

2010-04-15T12:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord,
Please please please, let this be the worst my child says.
Thank you,
Corky

25ish Week Update

2010-04-09T13:36:00.000-07:00

Nothing new other than a couple scary things that happened last week that really weren't all that scary. Here's the ever growing bump. I don't understand how I'm going to actually get bigger. I've gained more than just 12lbs: apparently Stretch has met two friends, Mark and Mark Jr. I'm curious to see if all the Cocoa Butter and Vitamin E helps. If anyone wants to send me a tub of Mederma, go ahead. I also I become like a character in my favorite saga Twilight. I am paaassty. Gross. My skin, too, hates me. Although with enough Acne Free and Proactive, anything is possible, right? Pretty sure when I go back to racing, I'll have to apply for sponsorships from Mederma and Acne Free.

Here we are. 25ish weeks.

Running: Rock the Parkway 10k

2010-04-02T10:47:00.000-07:00

Sooo, I've been running more lately. And, ya know what? It's great! I ran/walked (ran for the first time in weeks) in a 10k last weekend. It was freaking freezing and raining and totally unpleasant. I kept thinking "This is fun, right?" But it really wasn't. Good thing misery loves company. My friend Jean kept me going, although she was just as cold and wet and miserable. This was a trashbag race, much like the Lincoln 007 half (read about that peach of a race Here and Here). What a great day to be undertrained, pregnant, and running a 10k. As you can see, I was quite excited. ---->

I did have a kind of funny shirt that said something to the effect of "baby's first 10k" and "Yes, it's safe to run" but really I don't think it was that funny or that clever, but it's what I had to work with.

Bottom line, I "ran" a 10k 6 months pregnant.

Twice this week, however, husband and I ventured out to get in a few miles. Once with the dogs thru the new subdivision for a whopping 2.18 miles. Then last night, at one of my particular favorites, the Jacomo trails. He took the mountain bike and I hoofed it. No bike for me. L--aaa--mm-e. Anyway, I got in over 3 and was happy with that. It seems strange and trivial to run for 3 miles. Like, why's it worth the effort? But, then I tell myself I'm not training for an Ironman, or even a half mary, but just for my general health and labor, and for the health of little Eli (yes, the parasite in my body has a name now).

We had a good workout each, and came home to grill out some delicious chicken and potatoes. Awesome.

Not exactly the stress free week I was hoping for, but it's Friday and it is what it is. At least I have two consecutive days off starting tomorrow.

I'm not sure why, but everytime I think to myself about it being Friday, I always think of the movie Friday, and this line:

"I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do."

Holy Crap. My boobs are out of control huge.

Stolen: Things People Say

2010-03-22T10:59:00.001-07:00

This is stolen straight from the ELF. Click here to see her blog.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Things People Say
WARNING: Very sassy, sarcastic post ahead!I’m going to start a Twitter account called “things people say to me while pregnant.”Call me a little sensitive, a lot vulnerable and sometimes so uncomfortable with feeling so big and uncomfortable but is it just me or does it feel like pregnancy gives people a license to say things to you that they wouldn’t otherwise say. If you are pregnant or have been pregnant you know what I mean. And know why I'm begging for a little more discretion in dealing with the pregnant woman please.Now, I mean no offense. Really, I don’t. Please forgive me of all sass because I am, after all, pregnant, raging with hormones and about to make my 14th trip to the bathroom for today. But here goes, a (long) list of things people say to you when pregnant....

#1 – Anything said about weight gain by the woman who is not pregnant nor has ever been pregnant.Telling you that you only need 300 more calories a day when pregnant. How soon until you can shut your piehole? There are things you don’t know. Being pregnant changes your body. That doesn’t mean that I am nose deep in ice cream every night nor going to stay “fat” for the rest of my life. It just means that there are things you cannot control in life and this is one of them. The body will do what it wants to do. If and when you get pregnant, we will see what your body will do. And I will be there to help you count those 300 extra calories a day.
#2 – Anything said by a man about his once pregnant wife.Don't tell me your wife only gained xx (read: very few) pounds in pregnancy. There is no medal for delivering without drugs just like there is no medal for gaining the least amount of weight. Either way we all get the same thing at the finish line – baby. I gained her total pounds before week 20. I got there faster. Know what that means? I win.

#3 – Anything said by a man about your weight gain.Things like – wow, you’re really getting big or wow, every time I see you, you are eating. I ask you though – when does he have to give up many things that he likes in life to become 25+ pounds bigger with a small mammal growing inside of him. He does not. And because of that, the proper thing to say is "wow you look beautiful" or "gee can I get you some more _____(what you are eating)."

#4 – Stories from your mom about how she finished her pregnancy at the weight you started at. Nothing more needs to be said.

#5 – Stories from the woman who gained over 50 pounds while pregnant.To some extent, she is my hero. She looked at the angry ocean of pregnancy, said fuck it and jumped right into a bag of chips, a gallon of ice cream and whatever the hell she wanted every single day. She knew she was going to be uncomfortable no matter what so might as well go at it full tilt. I have a friend who gained 75 pounds while pregnant. When I asked her how she accomplished that amazing feat she admitted it took a lot of Cinnabons and Oreo McFlurries. THAT takes balls.

#6 – People who say “If you keep ______, that baby’s going to fall right out.”Let’s see: the baby falls out or I spend possibly 36 hours pushing it out while shitting myself. I’ll take my chances.

#7 – People who disagree with your attitude that as soon as you enter the hospital, a source of drugs should enter your veins.It’s like talking to someone about god. Get ready to agree to disagree. I can’t say that I really care which way the baby comes out, just as long as it comes out. There’s a lot of things to feel guilty about in life (tapping into free cable from Comcast, eating the last spoonful of Nutella, blowing my nose on the indoor track at the gym when no one is around), taking drugs during labor is not one of them. There will be plenty of Mommy-guilt every time I want to take my eyes off my kid for the next 18 years.

#8 – Someone who doesn’t realize you are over 5 months pregnant until you tell them.Is this an insult or the best compliment in the world? Happened to me the other day. I’ve seen this guy every 2 weeks or so since December. When he asked if I would be riding my bike outside this week, I told him I can’t do that anymore. His face turned white and he said “you aren’t?” Well, I have been for the past 22 weeks! Does this mean that he sat there for over 5 months thinking to himself, wow, she’s really packing on the pounds or am I hiding what has to be 8 pounds of placenta, 5 pounds of boob and 4 pounds of edema THAT well?

#9 – Once pregnant women who tell you that your _______(enter body part) will never be the same.News flash: after gaining what feels like 100 pounds and watching the skin of your stomach migrate to the next zip code outside of your body, it will never go back to its original state. You mean – that 60 buck tub of cream from Pea in the Pod wasn’t blessed by magical anti-stretch-mark elves? Please let me believe that everything will just snap right back into place.

#10 – When someone informs you that “you are starting to show”.I’m starting to show. Really. Funny because when I looked down today and couldn’t see my vagina I was thinking that I might be able to hide this FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS. Amen to showing – finally I can stop feeling like the chick who’s getting a little bit of chubchub around her waist and move on to the we-can-finally-ask-her-when-she’s-due-without-embarrassing-ourselves category.

#11 – Women who kindly inform you that being pregnant in the summer is hell.Because I haven’t already lived through 25 summers in the ass crack of the Midwest summer, these women remind you that being 30+ pounds overweight, bloated and waddling through a 90 degree day with 90% humidity is not as fun as you thought it would be. Neither was the marathon at Kona but I still did that in a Boston qualifying time. Both times. Thankyouverymuch.

#12 – Incessantly being asked “how are you feeling?”Imagine greeting someone every single time with how are you feeling. It’s not just that they ask you the question, they lower their voice and say it in such a way that you think that you might just look AND feel really bad. You think to yourself: am I dying? What you really want to say is: I feel f*cking amazing. How do you think I feel. I’ve already gained 16 percent of starting my body weight and I haven’t crapped in 3 days.

#13 – When someone asks, “are you sure you should be doing that?”If I could walk around with freedom to say that to anyone in the world, imagine the responses I would get. To all smokers, fast food eaters, texting while driving drivers, people posting their workout stats as part of their Facebook status update: are you sure you should be doing that? One night, I took a sip of wine and someone said “are you sure you should be doing that?” Listen, if that’s all it takes to harm this kid then he’s in trouble. I've got a 10-lb killer chihuahua living at my house.

#14 – Stories about how labor is godawfulmostpainfulmessynightmareGosh, I was thinking that squeezing a watermelon through a hole that used to make me think – how will I ever get a tampon in there – will feel so good I’ll shove the kid back in so I can do it again.

#15 – “You look great.”Really? Do I REALLY look great? Don’t lie to me. This is like when a spectator tells you that you look great at mile 18 of the Ironman marathon. No I don’t. I’ve been sunburned, pissed myself a dozen times and I am so desperate for salt I am licking my arm for the sweat. I look like hell rolled over me. Here's the deal: you don't look great, you just look pregnant.

#16 – Being reminded that I’ll never _____ again (sleep, go out to eat, have sex, take a vacation, live a normal life).I would imagine that taking on the responsibility of another life involves sacrifice. This is why we waited 10 years to have a child. We’ll make the sacrifices. Life will change. Like most change in life, it will be hard. You telling me hard it will be doesn’t make me think it is any harder. I think back to the race course in Corner Brook. Everyone couldn’t stop talking about the EPIC climb on the course. Turns out that epic climb was something you could stomp up out of the saddle in your big ring. This will be hard but we’ll be the judge of how hard it is. If it’s really hard, I’ll bring my road bike. If it’s epic, I’ll put on my compact crank.

#17 – Stories about pregnancy from women who gave birth to twins (or more).Nothing they she says is stupid, in fact it’s pure genius. Higher value wisdom than she-who-gained-50pluspounds. She says it’s hard, she knows hard. She says she breastfed – two at one time, she basically double-fisted it. She says she didn’t see her vagina after week 12, she’s a legend.

#18 – After being asked how you feel and told you look great it’s only a matter of time before someone asks “when are you due”.I’m due when the baby comes out. He will come out when he’s ready to come out. It could be on a specific day but about 80 percent of the time it occurs after that specific day. So what this all means is that I have no idea when the baby will be born. You can now stop asking me. Every time you ask me it reminds me I still have ___ months to go before I can shed this fat suit. And when I tell you late July it inevitably leads to #11.

#19 – When your husband tells you that he'll still love you even if you don’t lose the weight.I know he means well. But that doesn’t mean I want to hear it. Let’s pretend like I lose all the weight in 3 days and I go back to being me again. Tell me you will only love me then because I’m a pretty competitive person and I need a little fire under my ass. If you tell me you’ll love me no matter what that makes me feel like I have permission to walk around looking 6-months pregnant for the rest of my life. Tell me to nut up and get my ass back in shape or something. Call me Chubs. I’m going to need some motivation.

#20 – Strangers who ask “have you thought about names?”Listen, I’ve had this child named since I was 12 years old. OF COURSE we’ve thought about names! But the real question is why should we tell? Chances are you’re going to tell me some story about a kid you knew in the first grade with the same name who stood in the corner eating paste while shitting his pants. Thanks for the visual. Now, what’s your kid named? Really? I knew a kid with that name who ate his own boogers every day at lunch.

Now, it's not all that way. Know that for all the crazy things people say, you get about ten times as many good things that make you feel warm beyond words. And, of course I write this with the sass and humor that you need to have when you realize that even your underwear doesn't fit you anymore or that you just got out of breath while bending down to tie your shoes. So, cheers to all the pregnant women out there. Carry on, no matter what they say and remember, the correct answer is always: I feel great. Repeat after me: I - feel - great.

Like a Basketball Wearing Two Cantaloupes

2010-03-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

Like a basketball wearing two cantaloupes.

That's how I'd describe my body. Although, I haven't quite reached basketball status (more like half of it), my body is exploding. I've gained 10 lbs. Not that much, in comparison to normal gains of 12-18lbs at this point, but it feels like 30.

I'm 22 weeks. 18 to go. Hallelujah.

So, here I am.

7 Weeks, 1 day

14 weeks, 4 days(I was cranky, can you tell?)

16weeks, 2 days

18weeks, 4 days (Hello, Eli)

21 weeks

21 weeks, 2 days

A Woman's Week at the Gym

2010-03-09T10:21:00.000-08:00

Working at a health club of sorts, you get all kinds. I found this email particularly amusing.

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

Dear Diary,For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training for me at the local health club. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

TUESDAY:I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.

THURSDAY:Asshole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny bitch to find me.Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.

FRIDAY:I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?_

SATURDAY:Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..

SUNDAY:I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Farmville is dumb.

2010-02-23T12:47:00.000-08:00

There, I said it. Farmville is dumb. Please do not send me any Farmville requests on Facebook. Facebooks itself is a big enough time dump, I do not want nor care to see or hear anything pertaining to Farmville.

Old MacDonald was busy at WORK (ya know, on an actual farm), and never would have had time for something so ridiculous.

____________________________________________________

The Facebook games that millions love (and hate)
By Doug Gross, CNN
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
Zynga games like FarmVille, Mafia Wars are played by millions every day on Facebook
Expert says social gaming succeeds by appealing to women, other non-traditional gamers
Zynga founder says key to success was games that can be played during conference call
Backlash leads to FB group of 5 million saying they're tired of seeing games

(CNN) -- Early each morning, millions of farmers around the world rise to toil in their fields. By night, gangs of mobsters scheme and legions of poker players shuffle up and deal.
Sure, none of it's real. But the overwhelming popularity of so-called social gaming -- simple games that let people play with their friends on networking sites such as Facebook -- is changing the face of video games, experts say.
And as the maker of popular titles like FarmVille and Mafia Wars, San Francisco, California-based Zynga has ridden the games' skyrocketing popularity to the top of that emerging market.
For Zynga founder Mark Pincus, the formula for gaming success on Facebook, MySpace and other sites was as simple as it might seem counterintuitive: create simple games that people like but can easily set aside.
"We built the games so they could be played in a tab on your browser while you're on a conference call," said Pincus, a veteran Web entrepreneur who created Zynga in 2007.
Of course, they've been helped by the massive growth of Facebook, where the games are so popular they've spawned "fan" pages devoted to complaining about having to watch friends play them.
Facebook, with its 400 million users, is where the vast majority of people play FarmVille and Mafia Wars along with other Zynga titles like FishVille, Vampires, Café World, YoVille and Zynga Poker.
In all, more than 65 million people play Zynga games every day, according to media tracking company Developer Analytics.
Zynga's top title, FarmVille, is played by an estimated 75 million people each month -- roughly equal to the number who have played the classic arcade and desktop game Tetris during its entire existence.
The massive growth was satisfying but not altogether surprising to Pincus, whose previous startups had included Freeloader, a Web-based information-gathering service; tech-support company SupportSoft; and Tribe.net, an early social networking site from 2003.
He said that starting the game company, which he named after his late English bulldog, was an effort to fill what he considered a surprising void in most people's daily Internet use.
"I thought in 2007 that something had gone oddly wrong with the whole Internet experience," Pincus said. "I would have thought games would have been one of the top two or three experiences people had on the Internet."
What Pincus got right, according to gaming expert Scott Steinberg, was a sort of return to the "golden era" of games like Pac-man and Super Mario Bros.
"Video games actually appealed to a huge cross-section. They appealed to everybody," said Steinberg, publisher of DigitalTrends.com. "What happened is, as we went through the mid-'80s to the mid-2000s, you started to see gaming become more incestuous in terms of 18- to 34-year-old males making games for people just like them."
By contrast, three of Zynga's top five games -- FarmVille, Café World and FishVille -- have mostly female players, with many players outside the traditional 18- to 34-year-old range.
Those games all operate on the same basic premise. Starting with a simple farm, fish tank or restaurant, the player works to make it bigger and fancier, sharing items with friends and helping each other along the way.
Some of Zynga's early titles simply mirrored existing board and card games. It was Mafia Wars -- in which players team up to whack other gangs-- that first exhibited what would become the hallmarks of social gaming: simple, single-player action that's enhanced by teamwork.
With FarmVille, that formula would become complete.
Players plant virtual crops that can be harvested hours, or days, later. Along the way, they invite online friends to become their neighbors and help each other by sending gifts or helping with the farming.There's no way to "win," but players take satisfaction in building big, fancy farms that they can showcase to their friends.
"A farm is something that is internationally understood and known. It's cross-cultural, cross-gender, cross-age," Pincus said. "A great social game should be like a great cocktail party. If you want it to appeal to absolutely everyone you invite, it has to be broad in its content so that everyone gets it."
Not that Zynga's success has come without criticism.
With hundreds of smaller companies vying for a piece of the social gaming market, some rivals have accused Zynga of using its hefty venture capital to crowd out less-financed competitors.
Many of its most popular games, including FarmVille, are similar to pre-existing games from smaller companies, a fact Pincus dismisses by noting that video games have always fallen into genres with similar titles from competing companies.
Psycho Monkey LLC, the makers of Mob Wars, filed a lawsuit claiming that Mafia Wars ripped them off. Zynga settled that case in August, said a spokeswoman for the company.
Zynga also was hit with complaints and lawsuits over its original business model, which let players earn in-game rewards for things like signing up for a credit card or video-rental membership.
Critics said some of the offers amounted to scams, leading players to download unwanted software or unwittingly sign up for memberships that appeared stealthily on their phone bills.
Pincus has acknowledged not being vigilant enough with the automated ads that appeared on Zynga games during the company's early days.
"We were playing whack-a-mole," Pincus said. "Every time we found one of these or got a complaint, we would take them down. Eventually ... we realized we had to take a much more aggressive stance than a normal Web site."
In November, Zynga removed all "lead-generating" ads, relying for revenue instead on the roughly 1 to 3 percent of the player base that pays for in-game items, such as a barn in FarmVille. It has since been putting the advertisements back in, with a new system that lets it more closely monitor what kind of ads show up, Pincus said.
"We'll see where this goes for the entire industry," Pincus said. "It was really important to us to maintain a trusted position with our users. We wanted to do the right thing, and I think we did."
Pincus offers a ray of hope for another vocal group of critics: the social-media users who say they're tired of seeing all of their friends' updates about Zynga and other social games.
On Facebook, a group called "I dont care about your farm, or your fish, or your park, or your mafia!!!" had more than 5.2 million members recently.
"Please. No more of this stuff," wrote one member. "I've had all I can take. About to hang up FACEBOOK. Just want a nice cozy place to talk with my friends!"
Pincus said he hopes that messages from games can eventually be targeted to a more select audience.
"We have to evolve," Pincus said "I think it's heading to a place that's more narrow-casting. I think you'll get to a place where Facebook will be better about showing feeds to people who have a registered interest in them."
For example, he said, there might eventually be a way to send game notifications only to people who play social games themselves.
"It's not just games. It's going to be true for music, for pictures, for status updates," Pincus said. "I think, over time, these networks are going to start to shape more to ... your [registered interests]."
Meanwhile, Zynga will be among the developers continuing to change how people look at video gaming. It's a change that Steinberg, the gaming guru, says will be for the better.
While heavyweights like Electronic Arts and the popular Civilization series are making inroads into social gaming, Steinberg said, the genre is also opening up opportunities for smaller developers.
"We're seeing, in many ways, a second renaissance for games," Steinberg said.
"There's been an epiphany among the developer community saying, 'Look at these millions of users that we've forgotten to speak to for years.' This can only be a good thing for the gaming industry in the end."

Pregnant Olympian

2010-02-16T09:56:00.000-08:00

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/Canadian-curler-is-five-months-pregnant?urn=oly,219941

Tue Feb 16, 2010 10:33 am EST
Canadian curler is five months pregnant
By Chris Chase
As with all curling teams, Team Canada features five members. Well, six, if you really want to get technical with it.
Alternate Kristie Moore, 30, is 5½ months pregnant, making her just the second athlete ever known to be with child during Olympic competition. Ninety years ago, Swedish figure skater Magda Julin won a gold medal at the Antwerp Games while in her first trimester.
Though she is showing (as evidenced in the picture above), Moore says that her pregnancy has not affected her ability to deliver rocks ... yet. "[In] the eighth month or so, that might be an issue," she said.
Moore found out about her pregnancy weeks before team officials invited her to join Team Canada as an alternate. When she divulged her secret, the team was more than supportive. Said team leader Cheryl Bernard, "she is young and fit. There's no reason we'll have any problems, and she'll be out there."
Barring unforeseen problems with the other four members of the team, it's unlikely Moore will see any Olympic action. During competition her role as an alternate is much like a backup quarterback in football: She'll be called on if needed. Moore has said that although she'd like to get out on the ice, doing so would mean having to play at the expense of someone else's injury.
Team Canada is the gold-medal favorite in the women's curling event, which begins Tuesday and runs through Friday of next week. Even if Moore doesn't play, she will receive any medal Canada wins.

Swim, Work, Run

2010-02-15T12:26:00.000-08:00

I didn't make Saturday's KMA like I planned. Had to run to the car dealership to get Joan Jetta inspected. Silly dealership, didn't have that done! They gave me a free detail for my time, though. Yay!

However, I spent most of Friday night and Sunday day nesting- doing some serious cleaning to the house. I'm pretty sure that counted for some calorie burning, right?

Saturday I hung out with the GrandLady. Then I went shopping with JMoo for Husband's Valentine's present. I finally got him one of those fancy black watches he's been dying for. I couldn't find the one I got him, but I looked sorta like this -------> ------->:

Ironically enough, he got me a beautiful white sparkly watch to match. He is amazing, isn't he?

Sunday Hubs got home from work at Anahiem 3 (the motocross race, if you follow that), and we had a lovely evening on the couch- just us and pizza. Perfect.

Today is a LONG work day for me. I got to work at 8pm, and I'll be here until 10pm. Ouch. I had morning lessons until 11am, which is draining, but fun. Afterwards I put in a 1200 yard swim, at a very each pace. My stomach is definitely draging, and my flipturns aren't quite as streamlined. Over lunch I got in a GOOD run on the treadmill. Finally! I hate the damn thing, but a show I love on MTV was on, and I just had to accomplish 45 minutes. I did it, I got it done, and I was over it. It's hard to stay motivated to keep running when your body and mother nature are working against you. I have the Rock the Parkway 10k March 27th, so I'm trying to make sure I'm at least in shape enough to wobble 6 miles. I'm pretty sure it's going to involve a lot of walking (A LOT), but I'm trying to be the fit mom. Thus far, it's working out okay, but I'm no Labor Ready Liz (OMG have you seen her!? Talk about IronMom!).

Later this evening I am teaching another CPR/AED course. Then my puffy butt will drive home and I will go straight to my pillow.

Status:

Good mood. Feels decent. Mood swings possible. Hungry. Happy.

I Can Shout It!

2010-02-15T12:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I've been holding something back for almost two months now.

One of my most beloved and dearest friends, Julie, is also impregnanted. YAY! Let me tell you how awesome it is to have a good friend along for the ride.

She unfortunately got the pukey part of morning sickness (BTW, what MAN came up with the term, morning sickness? Seriously, it's 24/7), and I got the headaches. I can't wait for her to get to the "better" part that I have reached (or so I am told). She's due Sept 6- which is my husband's birthday. I'm ever so oddly scheduled to go just about on her birthday. See, strange how things work out!

She and I conqured my first triathlon together (Where we met, what love love love), our first "long" bike ride (it was about 12 miles, and we had to stop at mile 5ish because I thought I was going to die), first half ironman, her first marathon, our first Ironman, and my first open marathon together. I'm so excited we get to share this part too. That means, we can run with baby bobble heads together in an Ironman branded running stroller (duh, of course they make those).

So excited. Congrats, Julie and Dan! Love you!

Night Terror

2010-02-12T07:25:00.000-08:00

The young man pointed at me, shouting "She's wearing a pink shirt! She's a pink shirt!" I ducked underwater and removed my top, putting the salmon colored cloth under the dock upon which the rat stood. "There!" I said, and pointed down at my.. pink shirt. How the hell did I still have one on? I didn't understand. About then, my husband scooped me up and put me back the kayak we had moored at the dock. We were but one of thousands, if not more, kayaks and row boats hiding under the dock, Bimini tops unfolded, trying to conceal our identities. The Nazi like military that hovered over us in their helicopters scanned our group of frightened refugees. The boat next to us inched out from under the safety of the dock's over hang. It was then I realized this was no ordinary boat. This boat was equipped with machine guns and artillery that would have made a 1940's gangster shiver. I heard myself shriek when the man squeezed the trigger aiming at the hovering helicopters above us. They then returned fire.

My eyes snapped open at the sound of my husband's voice, calling to me from the shower asking about a fresh towel. It took me a minute to adjust, and to realize I wasn't under attack from a Nazi regime, and that, in fact, I was cozied up in my sheets on an overstuffed mattress. It's nightmares like these that I keep having. Every night, something else. Before transitioning to the ocean standoff, I was digging bodies out of my back yard.

A few nights ago, I didn't have a head, and had to carry around my eyes in my hands to see.

Weird.

Par for the course, apparently. Studies have shown that pregnant women are more likely to have vivid dreams, often nightmares, brought on by the surge of hormones. What strikes me is how realistic these dreams are.

Twenty minutes after waking, I was in my laundry room ironing Husband's shirts. He had been calling my name repeatedly, but I never recognized it. Instead, I was lost in comparing my dream to the story line of Inglorious Bastards (One hell of a good movie, might I add). I finished my ironing, and came out of the room. As I turned to close the door behind me, Husband came down the stairs to make sure I was indeed still alive, as I hadn't responded once. He hit the bottom of the stairs as I was turning to make my way thru the room.

He looked at me. I looked at him. There was a pause. His expression was confused, but I know it only mirrored mine. Then I heard shrieking. Blood curdling screaming. It was me! WHY!? I jumped back and stopped. He looked even more confused. Then laughed. I laughed. I cried. I cried harder. He didn't understand why. Why did I scream? Why did I laugh? Why did I cry? The only thing I knew for certain is I was crying because I had piss running down the insides of my legs. Seriously. Husband coming to check on my safety scared the piss out of me.

So here's what I know: I have awful scary dreams that I try to rationalize while preforming household chores. Still lost in thought over scary dreams, Husband comes to check on me. I see him and scream. I start laughing. I am laughing over the ridiculousness of my screaming. I am crying. I am crying because I have pee streaming down my legs.

I have 22 weeks left of this!

A Thursday Open Letter

2010-02-04T07:51:00.001-08:00

Dear Groundhog,

I hate you. You may be cute, true. You might be fuzzy, yes. However, if you come out of that effing hole and see your shadow EVER again, I will club you like Canadians going after baby seals. I am growing weary of this weather. I don't fit in my slacks, and they are uncomfortable at best, anyway. I am ready to wear skirts in brightly colored floral prints made of cotton. I am up for smothering SPF 40 all over my face and arms so that I may sit outside and guard my spray ground. I want to wear over sized sunglasses, and flip flops again.

Please, Mr. Groundhog, please. I want to have a reason to shave my legs again.

I would like to see a freckle or six on my shoulder. I want my hair to naturally lighten. I will gladly trade in my yoga pants and over sized hoody for a two piece lifeguard suit again. Buddha Belly and all.

I have lost faith in our weathermen. Can they not change the weather as the go? You, Mr. Groundhog, the see-er of all things meteorological, can you not have some influence? Might you possibly come up and say "Nope, no shadow!?"

Because, my dear friend, if we cannot reach a better solution to this wintry weather blues, I may be forced to find a recipe for groundhog loaf (Which I have found similar here and here). And you, particularly you, Punxsutawney Phil, are quite plump. I'm sure you would make an excellent stew.

Now, do not take vengeance in my threats (PROMISES). I will not be happy waddling around 30 some weeks impregnated in July. Do not give 115* temperatures, because, that too, I will blame on you. And then, sir, it will be much easier to bring broth to a boil.

I feel you may think that even if you are gone, your cronies, the local weathermen, will continue on. I have my own plans for them as well. I would like to mention that if I see another forecast such as this any time before December, Tony Soprano will look like a saviour.

With much love,

Corky S.

Fashion Clean Out and Clean Up

2010-02-03T10:19:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure whose song I prefer: Fashion, David Bowie style ("We are the goon squad and we're coming to town!"), or Fashion, Lady GaGa version ("I need some new stilettos, can't walk down the street in those!").

Doesn't matter though. I do love me some fashion. Not that I show it. I don't have the cash to spend on the designer labels, or rather I'd prefer to spend it on sporting goods, cars, and home accessories (and a OB/GYN labor and delivery bill).

Well, tonight is the night where I preform my semi-annual closet clean out. I do this about once every year to two years. Usually it's tossing ratty pieces or things I don't love anymore. Often times I hang on to t-shirts and jeans that I really don't wear but think I might again. Since I have a higher purpose of this clean out- to rid the spare room (AKA my giant walk in closet) of all things (seriously, this will be the baby's room so I have to get EVERYTHING gone), I am doing what I am considering a Holistic Cleanse.

Cleanses are usually done with foods or supplements to rid your system of toxins and waste. Well, this closet and dresser seriously need some ex-lax to get things going.

I will pair down a rather large closet filled to the brim of items that are poorly placed and rarely worn, and a huge dresser filled with size 30-32 men's board shorts (OMG, I used to wear those!?) and race t-shirts to the bare necessities.

I am using Tim Gunn's 10 Essential Elements to lay the base of my wardrobe, well, what's left of it. This will pretty much outline my work and dress clothing. I'll keep the majority of my workout clothes, and the 2 pairs of pre-pregnancy jeans I like the best.

As for the rest, we'll, that shit's gotta go. I'm going to need to do some shopping, which my husband so graciously agreed to do with me. I need to buy one nice pair of preggo jeans and a pair of work slacks. I can make do with a couple pairs of yoga pants and a top or two. I truly LOVE spring and summer dresses, especially long flowing ones, so I can pick up a couple that I can sport now and post baby belly.

I really won't have much left for when I get back to a normal size (which better be by November), so I will need to purchase items that fit as I go. Really, I have a lot of clothes that were great when I bought them... two or three years ago, and now I need to toss them, knocked up or not.

What I will NOT be doing, however, is spending $165.00 on maternity cut off jean shorts. Seriously? WTF?

If I Were a Rich Girl

2010-02-02T13:17:00.000-08:00

If I Were a Rich Girl, where would I live? I had some time to kill this afternoon, and decided to browse listings of homes in the Kansas City metro area, and out toward my home in Eastern Jackson County.

Here's my parameters: Must be $1,000,000 or more. I have to have ran or rode past it (or on lakefront properties swam by it), and be able to recognize the home as one I have seen on such trainings. Finally, it must currently be on the market (ya know, in case I happen to be the only survivor to a distant realitive somewhere that is a prince or something... and like tomorrow).

If you click on the price of each home, you'll find a link to the realtor's site.

What I found:

Price: $1,075,000 WHY? Heeelllllo Old Money

5011 Sunset Drive Kansas City, MO 64112 Subdivision: Sunset Hill County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 4
Bathrooms: 4 Full/2 Half
Square Feet: 4,590

One of Kansas City's most prestigious houses, designed by Mary Rockwell Hook. Fashioned in the Italian Villa Revival style, the house is located in a secluded cul-de-sac, shared by two other Hook houses, and is just a few hundred yards above the Plaza and down from Loose Park. An unusually solid stone house, in remarkable condition for its age.

_______________________________

Price: $2,499,000 WHY? Has a LAP pool.
5100 Sunset Dr Kansas City, MO 64112 Subdivision: Sunset Hill County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 4
Bathrooms: 3 Full/2 Half

Spectacularly renovated in 2002, this multi-level contemporary has highest level of finishes found in KC: African lacewood panelling and built-ins, mahogany and honed marble flooring, granite/marble counters, etc...the list goes on and on. Main floor master w/ amazing master bath and closets.

_______________________________

Price: $1,675,000 WHY? Because my husband dreams to live in a log home, and this is the only I have found that I would truly like to live in.

1515 NE Lake Shore Drive Lee's Summit, MO 64086 Subdivision: Ritter Sub County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 5
Bathrooms: 3 Full
Square Feet: 5,600 (approx)

"GREEN BUILDER" Design Award 2009*Colorado Logs*Absolutely gorgeous home with breathtaking water frontage*Extremely well built high efficiency, comfort & beauty. Enjoy all the benefits of Lake Living without that 3 hour drive. Amenities everywhere. Heated floors, dumb waiter Kit to Garage, extensive insulation, extensive details provided in docs.

_________________________________

Price: $2,595,000 WHY? The outdoor entertaining area.
10 K lake shore Drive Lake Lotawana, MO 64086 Subdivision: Lake Lotawana County: Jackson
Bedrooms: 6
Bathrooms: 5 Full/1 Half

A rare opportunity high on a hilltop overlooking Lake Lotawana w/170 ft of shore line, space for 5 docks + 2 boat lifts on deep water location of main channel. Incredibly designed home includes granite & stainless kit, vaulted + beamed ceilings w/4 stone firepls, Grt room of pine logs w/frpl+wetbar,fam rm w/birch bark wall cov. All new marble.
_________________________________

Price: $2,500,000 WHY? This is only half a mile from my current home, and there's 9 toilets. Nine!
2505 Sw 19th Street, Blue Springs MO 64015
4 br,5 ba,4-½ ba

AMAZING EXECUTIVE ESTATE ON APPROX 6+ BEAUTIFUL PARK-LIKE ACRES BACKING CORP OF ENGINEER'S PROPERTY. THIS ONE OF A KIND MANSION HAS 4 BRS,7 FIREPLACES,5 FULL & 4 HALF BATHS,TROPHY ROOM COULD CONVERT TO INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT, 2ND FULL KITCHEN ON LOWER LEVEL, HOME THEATRE RM, REC RM, FINISHED ROOM UNDER 3 CAR GARAGE, INGROUND POOL W/HOT TUB, LAKE

What's All This Training For?

2010-02-02T08:37:00.000-08:00

Really, I'm training for something, or the cause is lost. Why else do I swim, bike and run? What fun is there, if it's not a competition?

No, I'm not looking for an age group win, or a faster split. However, if all I'm doing is "working on fitness" there's nothing to focus on. I need a tangible goal. A race date. In this case, a delivery date, but it's all the same.

I missed both Tuesday and Thursday of KMA last week. Work and out of town visitors kind of got in the way. However, I did make my runs and swims.

Since I actually did sign up for a race , I have devised a training plan to keep me moving. Mostly very short runs of 2-4 miles, and a few "builds" of 5-6. I mean, it's a 10k.

Yesterday morning started out with a little 2 mile run on the treadmill, strike that, DREADmill. I despise this thing. But, my long winter run tights are now a smidge (okay, WAY) too small and I really don't want to run in sub freezing temps. It was supposed to be a 2.5 mile run, but considering I always get the wobbly treadmill (Damn you, #9!) I gave up and got off. I always feel like I have to work so much harder to run on treadmill. Maybe it's focus, but it never feels relaxing.

After I got pissed enough to quit the black conveyor belt of death, I headed to the pool. My usual swim partner Benny wasnt around (I swim with a 13 year old kid, seriously.), so I just put in some time on my own. I wore my HR monitor in the water for the first time this season, or whatever you want to call it, and was sorely disappointed with the results. I usually warm up with 10 x 100's on the 1:30. Easy swim and about 10 seconds rest. Mix in some backstroke. Well, after the first three easy 100's touch about the 1:18-1:20, I looked at my watch. My eyes probably bulged out of my head. 156!? One. Fifty. Six!? No effing way. I'm swimming easy. I could carry on a conversation with lane mates if needed. What the Fvck, Chuck? So, I back down a bit. The next three were 1:20, 1:21, 1:23. Check the watch. One-Five-Oh heeellll no.

Remember this little piece of advise from the doc? "Stay under 145." Looky here, it wasn't easy for me to do while on the dreadmill, but at a whopping pace of 12:35 I could keept my HR at 143. On the bike, I spin easy. Very easy. But I can still modify where I need to. Now, I'm in the water. MY place. Where things come very very easily. I'm practically in a LAYING posistion. How the hell is my HR creeping like that? Whatever. Of course, when I get mad, I want to swim harder. Faster. Pull stronger. Not the answer. I gave up on my warm up, and went into what would be the pussiest main set ever.

Pull a 500. Look at hr about every fifth flip turn. See HR around 150. Get pissed.
5 x 100 IM. Give up on 3rd one because breastroke makes me tired.
Sit on side of pool deck with belly looking up laughing at me.
Roll eyes.
Exit pool.

Remind myself what I'm training for.

For a the best damn delivery the OB/GYN has ever seen, duh. And the healthiest baby. And fastest postpartum weight loss.

And to get my ass back.

Decade in Review

2010-01-27T09:12:00.000-08:00

I'm a member of an online women's forum- kind of like the Knot, but way cooler- and the decade in review came up. I thought I'd add mine here.

2000- Finished my Freshman year in High School! Dyed my hair purple for the first time. Became a cheerleader (omg, seriously!?). Buried a close friend from suicide. Had a crazy summer cheeering and traveling my little brother around from state to state for moto racing. Turned 15. Met my future husband!

2001- Won conference in Humorous Interpretation for Forensics in school, somebody found my storytelling funny. Stopped cheerleading, it never would have worked out, anyway. What I would consider my Swan Song year in swimming- did fantastic at state, and had two relays win gold at nationals (NSG's). Watched future husband and brother race motorcycles.

2002- Swam, but not well. Got distracted by a boy (oh that scoundrel). Started taking college credit courses while still in HS. Husband graduated HS. Became a car hop at Sonic. I wore roller skates and black booty shorts. Seriously, easiest job ever. Look cute, don't fall, smile. Made bank. Started Senior year.

2003- Kept working. Went to school only in early AM's for college credit. First time purchasing a vehicle. My dad thought I was crazy buying a new car when they got me a perfectly good one the year before. Future husband bought a boat. Started wake boarding, well struggled at it. Graduated HS. Started college full time.

2004- Paid off said new car. Between sonic and the bar, I made money. Not kidding! Started getting kind of good at wake boarding, began competing. The boat thing caught on. Started working at future husbands boat dealership. Decided I missed swimming. Went back to club swimming at age of 19. Had to start all over.

2005- Finally requalified for swimming nationals. Tore labrum in right shoulder. Cried a lot. Retired again at age 19. Started getting really good at wake boarding. Earned world ranking of 45 in women's open cable wake boarding. Began looking at homes with future husband.

2006- Bought home with future husband. Started big girl job at hell hole law firm. Graduated college. Thought about attempting triathlon. Purchased bicycle. Did first triathlon. Met some new best friends for life. Did a few more triathlons. Turned 21. Did a half ironman triathlon. Won my age group. Qualified for Triathlon Long Course World Championships. Signed up for Ironman.

2007- Devoted life to training for first Ironman. Busted my ass. Began to worry weather I would ever get married to future husband. Had terriffic year in triathlon. Hated my job. Got engaged- on the beach, at Ironman. Completed Ironman.

2008- Began planning wedding. On cloud nine. Got fired (or, as they so nicely put it, "position is being terminated, and you will be eligible for state unemployment") 7 weeks before wedding. Best thing that EVER happened to me. Got married to WONDERFUL at dream Halloween Wedding, 8 years to the day of our first date. Went on AWESOME honeymoon to Mexico. Came back to job offers waiting for me. Started at new job.

2009- Excelled at new job. Did first stand alone marathon. Got pregnant.

2010- Finally got new car. Had the mustang the whole time. Planning on baby date of July 24. Turn 25 in August. Probably going back to school part time. Maybe new house? Going to have a great life. On to the next decade!

Preggo and The Heart Rate

2010-01-25T13:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, my previous post brought up the 145bpm HR bar that my Doc set. I've had a few responses to it, and I've started doing some research online. I'd like to open this up as a forum if any are interested, to discuss heart rates in pregnancy.

To start, I have fall into the "Fit" category by exercise frequency, duration, and intensity, however my BMI throws me in the "Overweight/Sedentary" category. I'm by far a skinny woman, but I also do my best to avoid sitting on my ass stuffing Cheetos in my mouth while watching reruns of For the Love of RayJ (usually).

I'm looking for information, both pro's and con's of exercising at a higher HR for a duration of no more than and hour at a time. I feel like working in the 155-165 range is more adequate. For example, my HR during the Kansas City Marathon (which I was right around the old date o' conception) averaged 163 for just over 5 hours. This is a very comfortable HR for me to hold for any given time (duh). Well, it was 12 weeks ago. Now, as I am about 14 weeks I can feel HR spikes and understand that I will have a higher HR at lower intensity, and open myself up for greater cardiac drift after any bursts (climbing on the bike, for instance).

I found this article, via FitPregnancy.com, which is more up to date than several dating back over 15 years ago. Thoughts?

Should I monitor my heart rate when exercising?
That may depend on your exercise intensity and workout goals.
By Carole Anderson Lucia

Q: Should I monitor my heart rate when exercising?
A: That may depend on your exercise intensity and workout goals. As long as you have a low-risk pregnancy with no contraindications, such as high blood pressure or symptoms of premature labor, exercise is good for you, and aiming for a target heart rate can help you work out at an appropriate level. While the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that pregnant women use the "talk test" when exercising (if you can talk normally, your heart rate is acceptable), in 2002 Canadian experts suggested utilizing target heart rates. But since those rates were based solely on age, they are inappropriate for some women, including those who are sedentary or very fit, says Michelle F. Mottola, Ph.D., director of the Exercise and Pregnancy Lab at the University of Western Ontario in London, Canada. The new guidelines establish target rates according to age and fitness level."Women can still use the talk test to stay in the correct range, but now they can be even more precise with their workout goals," Mottola says. The best way to determine your heart rate is to wear a monitor, or you can measure your pulse for six seconds and multiply by 10.

Fitness Level
Target heart rate: ages 20-29

Unfit (sedentary and/or overweight)
129-144

Active (exercise occasionally)
132-152

Fit (exercise regularly at high intensity)
145-160

February/March 2007

Hold Up, Heeeyy

2010-01-22T09:15:00.000-08:00

Hold tight, I have a lot of random thoughts flying around in my brain.

Sticking Stuff Up My Nose
After doing most of KMA Spin last night with a tissue stuffed in one nostril, I decided I had to do something today.
Have you ever tried a NettiPot or Sinus Rinse? I'm having a cold/allergey thing that is apparently preggo related. Doctor and pharmacist agreed, use a high volume sinus rinse, whatever that means. Okay, I just thought that it was like a nasal spray. Right? Wrong! Let me walk you through this. First of all, I purchased the sinus rinse bottle from NeilMed. The pot thing was just a little too weird for me. It's an 8oz bottle that you fill with the packet of solution (pretty much Ph Balanced salt water) and warm water. Then, you bend over a sink and put the bottle against one nostril. Squeeze lightly. Guess what happens next! The stream runs out of your OTHER nostril AND your mouth! This is pretty much what happens: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWVTuZ8AEf0
I'm not fully breathing yet, but I'm incredibly congested. It's suggested to do this 2-4 times a day, so hopefully by tonight, I'll be breathing better.

Kick My A-Spin Class
Definitely deserving of the name last night. There were several rounds of speed squats, isosquats and leg cranks (these are all things that you do very quickly off the bike before getting back on the pedal away again). My ass is screaming today. Guess that means it's working.

Mustang Sally is Now at a New Home
Sadly, I said my goodbye's to my beloved Mustang this week. After much talk about whether to just keep her or sell her, we decided there just wasnt enough room in the garage, and she could be a great car for someone else. We pretty much had a bidding war (because she's just that awesome), and my ideal buyer got her- a 20 year old girl who starting crying she was so excited. Perfect! So, I bid you adieu my beloved.
However, to add to that, my adoring husband did buy me a new car about a week away. It's a Volkswagon Jetta. SO much fun to drive, and just a beautifully made car (Thank you German engineering and Mexican labor). She's black, so I have thus dubbed her Joan Jetta. Get it? Get it! Damn, I am sooo funny.

I WILL race in 2010: Rock the Parkway!
There's a new 5k/10k/Half in KC! It's a beautiful course the goes along scenic Ward Parkway this spring. I'm so pumped. I can't wait. I'll be 20 weeks and some change, so I won't be too big for it to be painful to train or race. The difficult thing in my training has been following doctor's orders: Keep hr under 145 (!?) and take a short walking or active break every 30 minutes. I mean seriously, 145? That's like not even 70% of a maximum heart rate! But, okay, whatever. I don't want to overcook the munchkin thing.

Tagged?!

2010-01-11T09:32:00.000-08:00

Like the case of H1N1 that finally got me last week, I've been hit. This time, it's just blog tag. Trish (AKA Womanof1000blogs) tagged me in her latest blog.

So, here we go.

7 things about me.

7. I hate running. I know, weird. I do triathlons, marathons, every distance from zero and up. Still, running isn't a favorite. What I do love, however, is competing. Usually this is just with myself (can anyone say 18 mile run by myself AFTER work? No? Then read this. ) So why do I run, when there are so many things I can compete in? Well, underwater basket weaving is kind of tedious, and really, running requires the least amount of technical gear. Sure, I have a lot of the fancy schmancy stuff, but really it requires two working legs. Thank God, I have that.

6. My hair changes color faster than my uncle's veiled chameleon. I don't know what it is, but when I'm platinum blonde, I'd rather be a redhead. When I'm deep brunette, I want pink streaks. Currently, I am two platinum chunks and a pile of strawberry champagne. Your guess is as good as mine.

5. I know something you don't know. And I'm not telling for at least another month or more.

4. I am a Twitter fiend. It's ridiculous. Social networking be damned, I can't help it. Follow me on Twitter at TriathleteBride (Duh). Don't have Twitter? It's connected to my Facebook status. We're not friends? Well, looky here ---> It all feeds into the right side of my blog. Perfect.

3. I once quipped, "I'd rather give birth to a litter of puppies than have a baby." Please, please, please, do NOT tell my child this when it's old enough to be scared by it.

2. My husband has, on several occasions, been confused for Travis Barker. View Husband. View Barker.

1. I like to have fun. It can be out drinking with the girls, on the lake with best friends, dinner at Grandmas. I love to have fun. Fun at work, fun at home. I try to be upbeat and happy when possible. I do have some Negative Nelly, but I really try to be happy and fun (this does not read as wild-and-crazy). I enjoy life. So should you.

PS
I have to tag someone, so Tim, Julie, Andrea, and Moto Michele, you're up.

Where Are This Child's Parents!?

2010-01-11T09:28:00.001-08:00

My father would have slapped me and locked me in the basement.

Skimpy Prom Dress Lands Teen in Cuffs
Marche Taylor, 17, Was Denied Entry to Her Prom Because of Her Revealing Dress
By EMILY FRIEDMAN
May 13, 2008 —
For high school student Marche Taylor, the prom may be a night to forget, not remember, after a dispute over her midriff-baring dress ended with her in handcuffs.
When she arrived for her prom Saturday night in an outfit that consisted of a short skirt and straps of material across her chest, the 17-year-old Houston senior was told to go home and change if she wanted to be admitted, according to school officials.
"The young lady came to the prom wearing an inappropriate dress after the students were told what the guidelines were," Houston Independent School District press secretary Terry Abbott said.
Only one inch of an attendants' midsection was permitted to be shown and slits in dresses could be no more than three inches above the knee, according to the Madison High School prom 2008 guidelines obtained by ABCNEWS.com.
Additionally, "see-through fabrics should not be worn in places which reveal private body parts," the document read.
Students planning to attend the function were required to sign the guideline document and return it to their homeroom teacher, school officials told ABCNEWS.com.
If students did not sign the guidelines and adhere to the dress code, they would not be allowed to attend the prom, school officials said.
And, according the prom chaperones, Taylor's dress fit few of the school's guidelines.
Prom Night Ends With Handcuffs
Taylor failed to leave the prom when she was asked to, according to Abbott, and instead began making a scene. Abbott said Taylor began yelling and acting "belligerently."
"After she was told she would not be allowed in unless she went home and changed, [Taylor] became aggressive and belligerent and eventually police were called to escort her from the building," Abbott said. Police hired internally by the school district handcuffed the teen and placed her in a patrol car until she calmed down, Abbott said.
No official arrest was made, according to several local authorities.
The principal of Madison High School, Aubrey Todd, whose prom it was that Taylor was trying to attend, declined to comment to ABCNEWS.com.
Taylor, who could not be reached for comment, told a local television station that she saw no problem with her risqué outfit.
"I actually like the dress," Taylor told Houston's KHOU of the yellow garment that left her belly bare and covered only parts of her chest with a single piece of fabric. "Everybody else likes my dress.
"She shook her head, she was like 'you are not getting into this prom,'" Taylor said of the prom's chaperone, who she said stopped her at the door of the local Marriot hotel, where the event was being held. "We were arguing back and forth because I wanted to know why I can't get into my prom."
Marche admitted to becoming infuriated after being denied entrance and asking for a refund on her prom ticket.
"They didn't give me any options but to go to jail or go home," Taylor told KHOU.
But school district officials stand by their decision, questioning how the teen could have been allowed to appear in public wearing the outfit in the first place.
"[Taylor's dress] was very inappropriate and frankly I'm surprised her parents let her out of the house like that," Abbott said. "The school did exactly the right thing by enforcing the rule."
Copyright © 2010 ABC News Internet Ventures
var s_account = "wdgnewabcnews,wdgasec";

Twenty-Ten: Yep, that's different.

2010-01-04T11:33:00.000-08:00

Yeah yeah yeah. It's a new month. New year. New decade.

I'm laying in bed right now, laptop propped beside me, roll of tissues on my tummy, puke bucket beside the bed. Yippe skippy for starting the year off with H1N1. Actually, I don't think that's what it is. It's your run of the mill flu. Oh Joy.

I've never been much for barfing. Not a favorite of mine. The last time I barfed was in July, after drinking way too much at a concert at power and light (I can't even tell you who was playing). I've even made it the last three months sans barf.

What's with the last three months? Did I attend a big party? Puke on the marathon? None of the above. Actually, I'm knocked up. Yep, straight prego. 12 weeks and counting (28 to go!). Due July 25, 2010.

This has put a bit of a damper on my plans for an Ironman this year. I think though, that this might be a bit cooler. Well, okay, grant it more women have had babies than have done Ironman, but right now it's sorta a big deal.

Anyway, I'll do my best to keep my cliche pregnant woman sayings to a minimum. I will repeat this song in my head every chance I get.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJRzBpFjJS8
(Crap how do you embed youtube videos? I can only get half the text to copy...)

At this point I'm pretty much out of triathlon for the season. I'm going to continue with my swims, runs, and KMA class as long as a I can. I'm even hoping for maybe a half marathon in October. We'll see what happens.

I'm just along for the ride.

RePost for Amy Phillips :: Kick My A....nerobic Threshold

2009-12-11T08:27:00.000-08:00

Monday, September 28, 2009

Kick My A....nerobic Threshold
Ah, it's that time agian. Believe it or not, KMA is right around the corner! January is coming faster than we want to beilieve (so is next season!).This year, KMA is at a new locale right down the street from the Bike Stop. If you want to develop some serious power in your legs and get your heart primed for cycling, you should be in this class. I've taken a half-dozen different types of "Spin" Classes, and this, by far, kills them all. I'm going to C&P the information. I highly highly highly suggest signing up for the class taught by Dr. Goodpain, er, Greg Goodman.KMA ADVANCED INDOOR CYCLING CLASSWant to ride faster? Read on…For the 5th year we I will be teaching the Kick My A…nerobic Threshold (KMA) indoor cycling class. This will be a 12 week program meeting twice a week Tuesday and Thursday from 6:30-8:15 p.m. (a change from last year). Classes will run from Jan. 5th- March 25th 2010. I’ll schedule an optional outdoor time trial in the spring at a date TBA. This year class will be held in a warehouse on corner of 40 hi way and Cemetery Rd. (One mile west of the BS Bike Stop on the north side of 40)Greg Goodman will be leading this class in which you will go through a progressive program that will have you ready to ride for the 2010 season. All types of cyclists will benefit from this program. Workouts are designed to challenge the strongest of cyclists but adjustments are made for the 1st timer or beginner cyclist. You’ll be working at an intensity that you can handle…no one gets dropped on this group ride! This IS NOT your local gym spin class, pedal to the rhythm type training. You will learn about nutrition, strength programs, heart rate monitoring, cadence, and mental toughness. Workouts will consist of interval work, time trialing, strength building sets, climbing sets, power developmental sets, anaerobic threshold training, core training, and drills to improve your cadence and pedaling technique. We will also be using an my strength/power and flexibility program with Flexbands. Prior to the December starting date feel free to contact me at 699-8918 or at gggoodman@comcast.net and I will help you with your training during the months prior to class to prepare you for KMA 2010. I will email everyone aerobic (base building) workouts that you can do on your own to prepare for class in January.Price for the class will be $175. ($200 if you don’t own a Flexband) Space is limited so get your spot reserved early. Cash is preferred but checks accepted. Make checks payable to Greg Goodman. Classes will start at 6:30 p.m. (AOB) and last approximately 1hr and 45 minutes. All participants must have a trainer (fluid trainers are the best)...magnetic trainers are ok if they are new models, heart rate monitor, cadence mode on your computer and a METAL SKEWER on the back wheel to prevent your bike from falling off the trainer. We are going to do this the "right way” thus the equipment requirements. You will get a 15% discount on trainers (that aren't already on sale) and 15% off on heart rate monitors at the Bike Stop.Our goal is to get you stronger both mentally and physically on the bike. Whether you are a competitive cyclist or just want to get in the best shape of your life I promise KMA will make you faster, stronger, and have more endurance! I hope to see you for some fun at this one of kind class in the area. To sign up contact Bike Stop at (816)224-8588, amy@bikestoponline.com or contact me at the above mentioned phone number or email. Sign up right away to reserve your spot. A $75 (cash preferred, checks accepted) reservation fee is required.ABOUT THE INSTRUCTORGreg Goodman, a Physical Education instructor for 30 years will lead you in this advanced conditioning class for cyclists which incorporate the latest advances in training techniques. Greg has a Master's Degree in Exercise Sports and Science. He is a former CMSU basketball player and a 5-time Ironman finisher placing 38th in the World in 1985 with a time of 10 hours and 18 minutes. Greg has taught a variety of classes such as Spin, Speed Agility and Quickness and Core & Functional Training. Greg has worked with athletes from 8 to 75 years of age and is looking forward to working with the Bike Stop cyclists for a 5th year.The 5th Annual KMA“Kick My A….nerobic Threshold”Indoor Cycling ClassWant to ride faster? Get in better shape? My goal is to get you stronger both mentally and physically on the bike. This is a class for any type of cyclist who wants to get in the best shape of their life. I promise KMA will make you faster, stronger, and have more endurance! All levels of cyclists are welcome. Workouts are designed to challenge the strongest of cyclists but adjustments are made for the 1st timer or beginner cyclist. You’ll be working at an intensity that you can handle…no one gets dropped on this group ride! I hope to see you for some hard work and fun in this one of kind class in the area. Dates: Januay 5th to March 25th. An optional outdoor Time Trial will be arranged at a date TBAWhen: Tuesday and Thursdays from 6:30 to 8:15 P.M.Cost: $175 ($200 if you don’t have a “Flexband.” (See Required Equipment below for more information about Flexbands)There is a $75 dollar fee to reserve your spot. (cash preferred, check accepted) Make checks payable to Greg Goodman.Full payment due Dec. 1st. (Cash only) Full refund of $75 reservation fee prior to Dec 1st. After Dec. 1st refund will be $25 fee.Where: Warehouse on corner of 40 hi way and Cemetery Rd. (Approximately one mile west of the BS Bike Stop on the north side of 40)Required equipment:- Bike…If you haven’t had your bike fit to your measurements I’d highly advise a BG Bike Fit from the Lee Summit Bike Stop.- Resistance trainer. Fluid trainer are the best but newer model magnetic trainers will work. Include a front wheel riser to level off the bike and a METAL SKEWER (the heads of the skewer need to be metal not plastic) for the back wheel.- Heart rate monitor- Bicycle computer with cadence. Power meter is a great option for the serious cyclist.- A couple towels to wipe the sweat off yourself and the floor after class. We’ll be on cement this year.- Food and at least 2 bottles of fluid replacement (I’d advise one of water and one of Gatorade etc.)- Flexband: These are 40 inch industrial grade bands we use for an innovation strength and flexibility program that is crucial to your improvement. A very simple but effective piece of equipment that will give you years of use to aid in your strength and flexibility. Go to www.performax4u.com for more information on the bands. We use the light band (purple).- A desire to work hard with no whining because it’s all goooooood pain!
Posted: 8:47 AM 0 Say What!!?
Discussed: KMA Spin, obvious endorsements, Ooouuuch, Twenty-Ten

Waddell & Reed Kansas City Marathon 2009

2009-10-20T12:03:00.000-07:00

October 17, 2009

Poor poor Husband. He really thought I was kidding when I said we had to leave the house at 5:15am. Poor poor dog. He didn't know he wasn't going to dog park.

About 6:00am the Husband, Zeus dog, and I rolled into the parking lot on the south end of Crown Center. Here we were. Marathon day. In the rain. And cold. BUT! The temperatures were over 40, and I couldn't have been happier.

Before I found my pace group, I hung out with Merple and the blue beast for a bit. I wanted to stay in warm dry clothes as long as possible.

Zeus, however, was getting hugged loved and snuggle by triplet three year olds and their two older brothers. Nothing like seeing a hulking 110 + lbs cane corso getting mauled by a handful of toddlers.

Before taking off, Husband snapped a couple pictures of me, and gave me my throw-away DFT jacket. Throw-away jackets are the world's best invention. Seriously. They're like trash bags, shaped like coats, with a zipper. Genius.

I started the race with the 5:20 pace group. The pace band Julie gave me was for 5:25. I felt really confident in this time (oops! Except I only ran three times in as many weeks leading up to the race!).

I talked with a lady there quite a bit, and we ran together for a long time. Here's the course map to follow along the recap!

The course started at Crown Center, went north a long Power & light and Sprint Center, cut west where Andrea came up behind me (she was running the 5k), and then went back south. When we went under bartle hall, i lost signal on my Garmin. I looked down and saw the time stopped, then forgot to start it back up again. Duh. The rest of the race I had to add 6 minutes and .5 miles to the calculations. Stupid bridges.

As we were passing mile three (I think) the lady next to me told me to "Check out that dog!" It was my dog!!! He was sitting so pretty next to Eric. Zeus' head was going back and forth, like he was watching a tennis match. Good puppy! That's when Merple took this picture->

This is when I should mention I ran in a running skirt. I've only worn it twice to run, but I pulled it on over a pair of tri shorts. I figured my ass could use the extra layer.

The course went south up this long hill by the Liberty Memorial. Loooong steeep hill. I started feeling like my bladder was full, and needed to pee- already! So, I kicked ahead of the pace group to potty at like mile 4, which was right out of the Liberty Memorial out-and-back. The line was ssoooo long. I decided I'd keep going. I spotted an Wendy's about a mile later.

I went in and line was about four women deep. I considered using the men's, until the grossest, biggest, greasiest man waddled out. He must have dropped a deuce the size of Raytown, because I, with my gag reflexes of steel, started feeling nauseated.

**Speaking of deuces: Friday morning I had a luncheon at one of my favorite restaurants. I had some salmon and cheesy rice. I'm not sure if the rice had something in it with gluten, or if my stomach was just not tolerating sustenance, but I had awful diarrhea. It lasted all afternoon, and until about 2am. I couldn't poop in the morning before the race, so I started with poo in bowels and completely dehydrated.**

I waited at the Wendy's for seven minutes. After I pee'd my bladder felt so deflated. I could drink and take in fluid again! Yay! But now, I was way behind my pace group. For whatever reason, I let me legs get WAY out from under me. I was hauling ass to catch up, for no real reason! I still had about 20 miles to go! Yet, I got back seven minutes in about 2.5 miles. Which meant I was basically running at 5k pace. I'm an idiot.

I felt really great and was still with the pace group at mile 10, where I saw Julie being a very up beat spectator. She had planned on running KC. But she raced Chicago the weekend before. I still think she should have done both. ha!

Mile 11 marks the start of the big climb- Sunset Dr. If you're familiar with Kansas City, and the ritz-tastic plaza, then you know the fancy-schmancy Sunset Dr. area. If not, check this out. This place has been for sale for a couple months, and I want it. You should buy it for me. Yes, that is a 25 yard infinity edge lap pool in the back. The homes on this street are freaking ridiculous. They are some of the best in KC. Even Ward Parkway, which we also visited, can't touch the Sunset Dr. homes.

Just after the peak of Sunset, is Loose Park. It's a staple for the Urbanites and Yoga-in-the-park people. Right at the top of Loose Park was my favorite band on the route (yes, there were bands along the route!). A Rastafarian reggae band! They were so good! Anyone know who those guys were? I want to see them play.

I started to loose footing on my pace group going up Sunset, and I could just see them in the distance at this point. However, I was now following a 5:20 pace band from the pace leader, and I was only 40 seconds off the cumulative time.

Now, I'm pretty sure I saw Julie on 75th street, by the brewery, but I don't remember. Somewhere around here she said she would see me at the 20 mile mark, but I couldn't tell you where.

In the Wornall-Brookside Blvd area I saw a handful of spectators I know. Thanks everyone!

I finally made it back to mile 20. We passed this on the way out. It was mile 8.5 for me, and the lead men were going past 20. Pff. If I were Kenyan I'd be fast too.

Here's where I was starting to hurt. I needed to poop, bad, and my knees were toast. My left foot started to throb along with my ankle at about mile 15, but it was tolerable. I had two emergency Tylenol that I took at the mile marker 20 aide station. I saw Julie and told her my stomach was acting up. I went in to poop, and of course, the seat was a mess, and there was no toilet paper. My gloves would have to do. The worst part was squatting. I thought my knees would explode and that I wouldn't be able to stand.

I felt much better, and Julie said she had talked to Husband. Apparently, he took the dog home, got a shower, had some lunch, and was driving back. Gawd, I'm so slow.

Somewhere about the infamous mile 18 I started to fall apart. I was taking longer walking breaks thru the aid stations, and was falling farther and farther off pace. I gave myself a pep talk here at 20, and was convinced it was now just a 10k. How many 10k's have I ran? Probably a hundred!

That didn't last too long, and I started doing run five minutes, walk two, plus the aid stations. There's several decent ascents in Hyde Park and the Paseo, which I struggled with.

I cop holding traffic asked me how I was feeling just before turning onto 18th St. "Like I'm at mile 24 of a marathon."

My foot really really hurt, and I was sluggish, but there was GREAT jazz coming off 18th and Vine and I was headed down the home stretch. The last two miles are flat to down hill, and I was trucking along (aka, moving at 13:55 min/miles).

I was so happy to turn down 18th cruising past the coffee houses and bicycle shop. So close! There's a gradual uphill to the finish. I could see Husband and Julie, but I wasn't very chipper.

I finished the race in 5:51.42. It was about 25 min off my goal time, but you can't be mad when you finish a marathon. It was also 13 min faster than my IMFL marathon split, which to date, is my only other marathon.

Next up, Gasprilla Distance Classic in Tampa Bay, FL. I'm not sold on the marathon yet. That's what I'm thinking, but I'm not positive. Mom's says she's going to do the half. I sent her a training schedule and she didn't respond. Hope I didn't scare the poop outta her!

We'll see if I'm okay to start training in a couple weeks. I sorta kinda stress fractured my foot Saturday (that explains that ouch during the race), so I have boot on. We'll see how long that lasts. I want to be healed to train, but I hobble and look stupid.

It's Always Sunny in Kansas City

2009-10-15T11:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, that's a lie.

I've been in Florida for a few days to lay to rest my grandmother's (and grandfather's) ashes. It's been a very tough and emotional trip. However, I got to spend a lot of quality time with my mom, whom I miss dearly, and my brother, sister in law, and one of my niece's (and a slew of aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, etc., that I rarely get the chance to see).

While I took my running stuff, I never unpacked my Garmin, let alone the running shoes. Tisk tisk. Not sure if running in 95 degrees would have been condusive to this weekend's marathon, anyway.

Speaking of the marathon: guess what! Mixed reports from drizzle, to run, to, what's this?! Farking SNOW?

Whatevs. This is the updated WeatherUnderground.com report (might not be the most credible, but it seems to be the most positive):

So, it will be cold. According to Brett Anthony (the official meteorologist for Runner's Edge KC) it should be dry all morning, and 48 by noon. And, I'd like to finish by 12:30pm.

I am still planning on Gorilla Multisport Shorts, with the tank, and an underarmour shirt. I'll start the race with the throw-away jacket I got from DFT many moons ago. Never had conditions that I thought I would need the throw-away for, and now I do.

I got some of those $1.00 gloves and almost matching $1.00 headband from Target. That oughtta do it, right?

If not, I may end up in capris, which will probably be the more sensible choice.

Here's the info on the marathon, and my number, in case you'd like to track me!

http://www.waddellandreedkcmarathon.org/

http://tracking.theendresultco.com/2009/kc/step1.php

I'll Be Damned.

2009-10-09T15:50:00.000-07:00

Well, this is cute! What a little light in my day!

www.kansascity.com

Where Was I Before I Stopped Breathing?

2009-10-09T13:16:00.000-07:00

I have a marathon in one week, 16hrs.

Julie is racing Chicago Marathon on Sunday.

IRONMAN Kona is TOMORROW.

I have budgets for mutli centers due TODAY.

My maternal grandmother passed away this week. I'm jumping a plane to Orlando on Sunday. I'll spend time with my mother, and extended family. I'll have budget presentations, and meetings from the moment I land back in Kansas City, until race day.

Did I mention the weather? It's raining, drizzling, and, what's this? SNOW tomorrow!? I know, it's flurries. But still!

I hear O-Town is setting record highs again. Won't that be a kick in the ass. At least it's taper time. My shorter runs will be in 95 degree. After, of course, tonight's run, and Sunday morning's- both in the lower 40's.

I'm teaching a swim coaches clinic for the association tomorrow. I don't really know what I'm going to say, I have a basic outline, but I haven't made a packet yet. Yikes.

Sn0o0w. I said it again.

I just finished admistering my 5th pool check of the week, the 3rd of which I played "victim" in a spinal scenario. I have scrapes on my neck from the cervical collar, and scratches on my arms and legs from the straps. At least my spine is fine.

I worked the ICE fashion show last night. Some of the models are great. Some need throat punches. I saw a lot of random boobs.

The good news: The marathon forecast for the 17th looks like this:
Oct 17 Saturday
Mix of sun and clouds. Highs in the mid 50s and lows in the low 40s..

I'm super itchy. It's nerves, irritation and dry dry skin.

I am hoping to finish up work before 7pm. I want to go home. Run, if possible. Drink a bottle of wine, and sit with my husband.

I'm really tired.

I need to breathe.

Kick My A....nerobic Threshold

2009-09-28T08:47:00.000-07:00

Ah, it's that time agian. Believe it or not, KMA is right around the corner! January is coming faster than we want to beilieve (so is next season!).

This year, KMA is at a new locale right down the street from the Bike Stop. If you want to develop some serious power in your legs and get your heart primed for cycling, you should be in this class. I've taken a half-dozen different types of "Spin" Classes, and this, by far, kills them all. I'm going to C&P the information. I highly highly highly suggest signing up for the class taught by Dr. Goodpain, er, Greg Goodman.

KMA ADVANCED INDOOR CYCLING CLASS
Want to ride faster? Read on…For the 5th year we I will be teaching the Kick My A…nerobic Threshold (KMA) indoor cycling class. This will be a 12 week program meeting twice a week Tuesday and Thursday from 6:30-8:15 p.m. (a change from last year). Classes will run from Jan. 5th- March 25th 2010. I’ll schedule an optional outdoor time trial in the spring at a date TBA. This year class will be held in a warehouse on corner of 40 hi way and Cemetery Rd. (One mile west of the BS Bike Stop on the north side of 40)
Greg Goodman will be leading this class in which you will go through a progressive program that will have you ready to ride for the 2010 season. All types of cyclists will benefit from this program. Workouts are designed to challenge the strongest of cyclists but adjustments are made for the 1st timer or beginner cyclist. You’ll be working at an intensity that you can handle…no one gets dropped on this group ride! This IS NOT your local gym spin class, pedal to the rhythm type training. You will learn about nutrition, strength programs, heart rate monitoring, cadence, and mental toughness. Workouts will consist of interval work, time trialing, strength building sets, climbing sets, power developmental sets, anaerobic threshold training, core training, and drills to improve your cadence and pedaling technique. We will also be using an my strength/power and flexibility program with Flexbands. Prior to the December starting date feel free to contact me at 699-8918 or at gggoodman@comcast.net and I will help you with your training during the months prior to class to prepare you for KMA 2010. I will email everyone aerobic (base building) workouts that you can do on your own to prepare for class in January.
Price for the class will be $175. ($200 if you don’t own a Flexband) Space is limited so get your spot reserved early. Cash is preferred but checks accepted. Make checks payable to Greg Goodman. Classes will start at 6:30 p.m. (AOB) and last approximately 1hr and 45 minutes. All participants must have a trainer (fluid trainers are the best)...magnetic trainers are ok if they are new models, heart rate monitor, cadence mode on your computer and a METAL SKEWER on the back wheel to prevent your bike from falling off the trainer. We are going to do this the "right way” thus the equipment requirements. You will get a 15% discount on trainers (that aren't already on sale) and 15% off on heart rate monitors at the Bike Stop.
Our goal is to get you stronger both mentally and physically on the bike. Whether you are a competitive cyclist or just want to get in the best shape of your life I promise KMA will make you faster, stronger, and have more endurance! I hope to see you for some fun at this one of kind class in the area. To sign up contact Bike Stop at (816)224-8588, amy@bikestoponline.com or contact me at the above mentioned phone number or email. Sign up right away to reserve your spot. A $75 (cash preferred, checks accepted) reservation fee is required.
ABOUT THE INSTRUCTOR
Greg Goodman, a Physical Education instructor for 30 years will lead you in this advanced conditioning class for cyclists which incorporate the latest advances in training techniques. Greg has a Master's Degree in Exercise Sports and Science. He is a former CMSU basketball player and a 5-time Ironman finisher placing 38th in the World in 1985 with a time of 10 hours and 18 minutes. Greg has taught a variety of classes such as Spin, Speed Agility and Quickness and Core & Functional Training. Greg has worked with athletes from 8 to 75 years of age and is looking forward to working with the Bike Stop cyclists for a 5th year.

The 5th Annual KMA
“Kick My A….nerobic Threshold”
Indoor Cycling Class

Want to ride faster? Get in better shape? My goal is to get you stronger both mentally and physically on the bike. This is a class for any type of cyclist who wants to get in the best shape of their life. I promise KMA will make you faster, stronger, and have more endurance! All levels of cyclists are welcome. Workouts are designed to challenge the strongest of cyclists but adjustments are made for the 1st timer or beginner cyclist. You’ll be working at an intensity that you can handle…no one gets dropped on this group ride! I hope to see you for some hard work and fun in this one of kind class in the area.

Dates: Januay 5th to March 25th. An optional outdoor Time Trial will be arranged at a date TBA

When: Tuesday and Thursdays from 6:30 to 8:15 P.M.

Cost: $175 ($200 if you don’t have a “Flexband.” (See Required Equipment
below for more information about Flexbands)
There is a $75 dollar fee to reserve your spot. (cash preferred, check accepted) Make checks payable to Greg Goodman.
Full payment due Dec. 1st. (Cash only) Full refund of $75 reservation fee prior to Dec 1st. After Dec. 1st refund will be $25 fee.

Where: Warehouse on corner of 40 hi way and Cemetery Rd. (Approximately one mile west of the BS Bike Stop on the north side of 40)

Required equipment:
- Bike…If you haven’t had your bike fit to your measurements I’d highly advise a BG Bike Fit from the Lee Summit Bike Stop.
- Resistance trainer. Fluid trainer are the best but newer model magnetic trainers will work. Include a front wheel riser to level off the bike and a METAL SKEWER (the heads of the skewer need to be metal not plastic) for the back wheel.
- Heart rate monitor
- Bicycle computer with cadence. Power meter is a great option for the serious cyclist.
- A couple towels to wipe the sweat off yourself and the floor after class. We’ll be on cement this year.
- Food and at least 2 bottles of fluid replacement (I’d advise one of water and one of Gatorade etc.)
- Flexband: These are 40 inch industrial grade bands we use for an innovation strength and flexibility program that is crucial to your improvement. A very simple but effective piece of equipment that will give you years of use to aid in your strength and flexibility. Go to www.performax4u.com for more information on the bands. We use the light band (purple).
- A desire to work hard with no whining because it’s all goooooood pain!

Big Scary Run Recap

2009-09-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

A week later and I'm finally talking about it! Dang! Okay, everything went fine. I actually don't have anything good or bad to say about it. It was, well, 20 miles. I did the whole thing with Julie. She's got some good goals for Chicago and I ran with her as close to her training pace for Chi Town as she needed to. Thus, I'm kind of thinking about reevaluating my KC Marathon goal. I have a tortoise time of 5:25 planned. However, I'm thinking it might be possible to go under 5. Basically, after looking at my pace bracelet Julie got me, if I go one minute faster per mile than I had planned, I will come in at 4:59. I know, a minute per mile is pretty damn lofty. But, we ran a training pace for 5:00 (11:40/min miles) and I still felt okay. Here's the actual difference of the two paces (and Boston Qualifying for the Helluvit):

Today I make up yesterday's missed 10 miler. Then I have a 13 next weekend and an 8 the following. That's all, folks!

Hitler Hates Kayne

2009-09-17T09:55:00.001-07:00

Now, I like me some Kanyzzle now and then. I still think he deserves a throat punch.

So does Hitler.
Click to watch Hitler get angggrrry at Kanye.

The Big Scary Run

2009-09-15T12:02:00.001-07:00

Saturday morning has a big scary run waiting for me. Most things: distance, heat, mental weakness, I've battled before. Saturday, I battle them all.

The biggest war I've ever had in training was a run with Runner's Edge in 2007. Saturday, I will set out to conquer the course again. Here's the blog from that awful run.

Monday, October 01, 2007
Break down, break-break down…
I want to break down but don't know if I can
I need to break down but don't know if I can-Youth Brigade, Breakdown

It finally happened. I finally had it. The wall. The massive, brick and mortar, steel, barbed wire, mound in-cased fortress of a wall. I knew there was no way I could go all season without hitting it. It would be impossible. In fact, I started to worry about not climbing the mental barricade outside of a race. Well, worry no more. I had slammed head first at full throttle right on in to it.Saturday morning at 7:00 am Julie and myself (along with the rest of Runner’s Edge and Erin and Michele) started off on our run. Julie ran 2 before I met her, so she was actually going to go 22, I was going 20. No worries, I did 18 a few weeks ago and comparatively speaking, it was a breeze- we ran the whole thing. Saturday however, as we started out on the first couple miles I could tell I was working harder than usual. I felt like my effort and HR weren’t matching up, and that everyone else was going at a much easier pace. From what I understand, this could be a symptom of two things: overtraining, or under recovery. Of the two, I’m assuming that under recovery is to blame- I did just do a half ironman 2 weeks ago.The course was an odd layout at best. We started at Ward Parkway mall, went parallel to Ward Parkway, went through Waldo, Brookside, the edge of the ghetto, the Plaza, Loose Park… and then back. I still feel like I’m forgetting a section.Julie and I ran side by side for the first 10 miles; however there’s a long hill between miles 9 and 10- she put in a little distance on me there. It is awesome to see how her running has progress. I’m sure she remembers- just about a year ago Julie and I decided to run from my house, to the fire station and back. Two whole miles. I think we almost died. After our turnaround at mile 10 we had a couple other gals catch up with us. We mostly ran in a pack together as Julie and I explained IronMan and how we train for, eat during, poop when, and the feelings we have. People make you feel like a rock star, but I had to keep explain to these gals “You’re doing a marathon!! It’s the same mentality; we just do some extra training.” For whatever reason, nobody believes that.Julie and another girl or two ended up together and myself and another woman ran along together. Things were getting difficult for me and I was having a dang hard time to keep from going all-negative and dragging the other girl down. After the water stop at mile 14 I tried to run again, but I only could of a little ways. I wanted to run, but my legs were burning and my body wouldn’t listen to my mind. RUN! GO! I kept telling my self, but alas I was walking. So after so was the other gal. We marched along in silence for a long time. I kept taking little running steps every so often, but eventually I thought, Who am I kidding? I’m not running right now. The other girl had to stop to use the bathroom and I went on up ahead… Until I had to sit down. Yes, I sat down. I couldn’t continue to put one foot in front of the other. I just couldn’t do it. In fact, I was pleased with myself that I sat on a park bench, versus the intersection like I wanted to. After sitting and stretching for a minute my legs felt the burning go away, so I got up and started walking again. At this point I felt like I might actually be ok, so I started running again. Nope. I got nothing. It hurt. So, I was walking again.Once in Brookside and back on the Trolley Trail I was feeling a flush of emotions, I knew I only had 4 miles to go, and if I were running I’d be done in 50 minutes. However, I was not running. As I was moving along two older gals ran up along side of me and asked how I was doing. I just looked at them and said “fine.” One of the ladies said “Oh honey, you are not fine.” And started handing me sport beans and clif blocks. “You need something with a pep,” one told me. They asked if I had gels and sodium. I did, and was taking them like clockwork, which I believe helped to ward of the leg cramping. “We’ll stay with you for a while.” Hearing that I decided I couldn’t let these women walk too, so I jogged along side of them while they gossiped back and forth about people in their Bunko group (Ok, seriously, they were in their 60’s, and yes, they were going faster than me). At mile 17 I was walking again, and told them to go ahead. Within minutes I was sitting again. This time, on the trail, stretching, petting passersby’s’ dogs, stalling. The gal I left at the bathroom had caught back up, so I got up and walked with her. Again, we marched in silence. I could feel tears brimming in my eyes, but I felt like I needed to be strong in front of a stranger. Then I heard her sniff. I looked over and she too had tears in her eyes. Finally I said “All I want to do is go home lay on my bed and cry,” she said she thought she would right then if she could find a decent spot to lay down. My watched beeped reminding me of the time. I reached up and yanked my HRM strap off. I was over it. My HR didn’t matter to me. Forward motion did. The stranger at my side started to jog. “Come on” she whispered. I took about 10 steps in what at the moment felt as if it were a sprint. “I can’t” I said as she slipped away. She wasn’t looking back and I didn’t want her to. I didn’t want anyone to see me. Me, in my bright blue spandex shorts and butterfly tank top. This isn’t me. This is someone else in my body, someone else in my head. I’m a fighter. I claw my way through workouts, I literally scream, yell, urge myself on. Instead, I was shrinking. I felt like a fake.At just over 18 miles I came to the final aide station. I poured a cup of Gatorade, and plopped down on someone’s front steps. As I fumbled through my salt capsule pack the person picking up the RE’s stations pulled up. “You want a ride back to the mall?” I didn’t answer. I wanted to pretend I was invisible. “Hey- you want a ride?” The man asked again. I shook my head no, and opened my lips to say thanks, but I don’t believe any words would come out. In my body I was kicking and screaming yelling YES! Take me back! Please! I want out! I want to be done! I quit! I quit! I stood up, got some more water, and started to walk again. At this point, I was completely by myself. Some people were out walking, and I tried to pretend to be one of them, just moseying along, enjoy the first of fall weather (however it was over 80 degrees).It took me 30 minutes to go less than 2 miles. I simply couldn’t move any faster. As I started to walk back into the mall parking lot, head hung low, Julie pulls up. “Hey. You okay?” I actually had to smile and laugh to keep from crying. “I’m fine.” “You want a ride?” Ride. Ride? Ride! To go back!? To go the last 200 yards, by God, phuck that. I am going to drag my arse the last of the way if it kills me.I made it back into the mall to check in with Eladio and let him know I was done. “How’d it go?” he asked with a look of apprehension. “Not good, not good. I totally fell apart.” Now, the tears came. I was admitting aloud that I had a crash, that I was toasted before mile 14, and that in some aspects I had failed. He discussed in his coach-ie way how I was likely not recovered from my difficult half ironman, and that after all I would be so much stronger for pushing through and completing the miles.Which, I did do. I made all the miles. And it sucked. Bad. However as much as it sucked, I still completed every last foot under my own power.After I got into the car to drive home, my mind flooded with emotions. I was thankful I had the opportunity to push through a wall that big. While I did not run again at the end, I did keep moving. I had constant forward motion.I turned on the radio, and Tom Petty started to rock me a song about breaking down.Loudly, I sang along.
Posted: 8:45 AM
Discussed: blog, IronMan

Oouf.

2009-09-10T19:15:00.000-07:00

0.
Zilch.
Nada.
Nothin.

Adds up to:

No bueno.

That's my last two weeks of running. Er, lack there of. My allergies got so bad that I was covered in hives and sleeping less than two hours a night. Right when I started feeling comfortable on the medication I was given, it hit me again. Doc Lady says we have to try something else. Whatevs.

I'm running tomorrow, and that's that. Itch or no itch. Hold me to this.

I only have a total of 130 possible running miles left until October 17th. Which by the happens, happens to be a bachlorette party day. ::sigh:: Marathon in the morning, party my ass off in heels because Andrea Shadrick is getting married in the evening. Well, looks like I need to start training in stillettos, huh?

My long runs are scheduled like this: 12 22 12 14 8 26.2

Yep, only TWO runs are past the half mary point. Ah!

Better get on it!

Longest Solo Run Ever (And I Pooped in a Field)

2009-08-18T17:39:00.001-07:00

Sunday morning I ended up at work, instead of doing my 16-18mi planned run. It was storming so I wasn't too upset about it, but I know I would have to make it up Monday... AFTER work.

I was lucky enough to leave work a few hours early. That meant, at 3:30pm, I headed out on my longest run ever done by my lonesome (breaking last week's record of 14.25 on my own). It was overcast, and pleasantly cool, although quite humid from the morning storms. I kept expecting the skies to open up, but they didn't, thankfully.

My route took me south, out of Blue Springs, down 7hwy. There's a wide bike lane and shoulder, so it wasn't too sketchy to run on. Then, in Lake Lotawana, I made a right turn, onto Colbern. Colbern is 4 lanes across, no shoulder, no sidewalk. I ran on the side of the road for about 3.5 miles, then jumped on the path that basically appears from no where on the north side of Legacy Park in Lee's Summit. I continued down the trail as it went south along Blackburn Rd. I went past the LS Rec Center, reminding myself to stop there on the return trip to fill up the CamelPak and potty. I decided I was only doing 16, and right at the 8mi turnaround, my stomach dropped. I had to poop. NOW. In a beautiful residential neighborhood. Shit. Shit. Shit. Literally.
I started walking clenching my butt and waddling. Coach Lady told me cramping and stomach issues can be salt problems, so I was sure to pop an extra endurolyte. It seemed to help and I started running again. I got on the trail that looked to be the "shortcut" to the rec center.

WRONG.

About a half mile in the wrong direction, and exactly across from the rec center (on the other side of a LAKE!) I couldn't wait. I took about ten steps off the path into knee high grass, turned around in a cirle like a dog making bedding, and well. I pooped. It felt AMAZING.

Then I started back in the direction I came from. Again, I had to go off course to make it to the rec center, filled bottles, got the luxury of wiping, and started back.

At about mile 13, I looked down and realized I was only 10min of my best half marathon time (not including the pit stops, but including the near mile walk from 7.5-8.5). Nice. I was keeping it easy, and crusing pretty well.

Things turned around from 13-15. The sun was out and getting HOT. I was getting tired. I was running on the concrete road, and my knees were hurting. My calfs were tight. My back hurt. I was over Orange gatorade.

At mile 16 I picked up someones discarded, nearly full water bottle from the side of the rd. I poured it all over me. I maybe even drank a little. I know, but I was running out of liquids, FAST.

I took solace in knowing that my now death march stride was almost a minute faster than my death march of two years prior. I could stop and walk, but, then it would take LONGER until I got home. Eff that. I wanted home. NOW.

I finally arrived home just over 3 1/2hrs from when I left, arriving at 17.64mi. I guess the extra mile and change was the marathon god's way of saying to do the longest possible planned runs.

I streched and climbed into the ice bath, tears on my face, so happy to be done. Hubs asked why I do this to myself, and that it obviously isn't fun. I couldn't really answer him, but told him deep down I actually like it.

"You're ate up, honey." He said, as he went out the door to walk the dog.

I know, but I'm 18 miles stronger than the day before.

Let Me Crawl Out from Under This Rock

2009-08-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

Hi. I'm Courtney, and I have a Blog. I need to stare in the mirror and tell myself this every morning, and maybe someday I'll set aside 10 minutes to update it.

Ok, so let's see here, what have I been doing?

Let's start somewhere back around Kansas 70.3. I had a great race, and decided to take a few weeks off to chill out. I eventually picked up on running again, trying to gear up for the Kansas City Marathon. Then I cut my achillies at the dog park, which made wearing shoes, even bandaged up and double socked, impossible. The deep cut took about two weeks to heal up enough to stand running.

Well now I'm over that. But, I seemed to keep missing (ie: Being lazy, work, having too many excuses) my long Sunday runs. About a week ago I realized I was supposed to be running 14. I did 9. 9 was impressive. Wanna know why? Because prior to my 9miler, my longest run since KS 70.3 was a 6.5 miler. Yes, I know. Roll your eyes.

So, this week I of course missed my Wednesday run. Which I actually did make up, on Thursday. Then I ran my scheduled Friday. Two days back to back. Not fun. Then a long run for Saturday. To get myself back on track, I actually did the 14 (14.85 to be exact). I felt decent, considering I didn't start until 9am, at which point it was already 80* outside. When I finished almost three hours later, it was 94*. Gah. Well, at least I can survive in the heat. Which is good, since next weekend is 16-18.

Also next weekend is a bachlorette party. At this point, the prudent thing to do is to go and not drink, and have my ass in bed before 1am. It will be an early wake up call to get my feet on the pavement. Then, we're heading to the in-laws for lunch. An hour away. This means that if we have to be there by, oh, 1:30pm, we need to leave by 12:15pm. So I need to finish my run by 11:00am in time for me to stretch, ice bath, and shower. Completing my run which will take approximately 3hr and 40 min for 18 miles (not counting a gas station pit stop to refill hydration systems) means starting by 7am. At the latest. That's getting up at 6:15am. With 5 hrs of sleep.

On second thought, I'll be home before midnight. Sigh.

Other things on the agenda:

Swimming in Moonshine 2mi Open Water Race. It's the tail end of August and will make a great camping trip. Now, if I could only get my ass in the water to do a little swimming before hand.

I Got Older:
I had a birthday last Monday. Thus, I realized that unless I decided to do another race other than the marathon, I am approaching the end of my 20-24 age group career. Wow, so strange to think that when I started at 20. I'm actually ageing up! Welcome to the fast girls, huh?

For my birthday I got a fancy new phone, and a Garmin 305. I heart them both. Oh, and I can't forget. Neon blue Asics. Yes, back to the (b)Asics. I like the Zoot Ultras, but they're really just flats, and can't support a second season, let alone a marathon. I may pull them out of retirement for sprint triathlons if I ever enter another one.

Can't shake that (ironman) feeling:
I'm still sad that I decided to back out of the Redman full. It broke my heart and as race day nears, I'm feeling like I should be getting ready. It's definitely less time consuming training for marathon only races, and it worked out better for my schedule. Now, I'm looking ahead to 2010. Will it be Cozumel or Arizona? Both are held at the end of November. This would place a 20 week countdown at the begining of July. May thru the start of August were crazy work months for me, but I've seen things taper off as I gradually got a hold of it. I'm looking forward to next summer, as I feel like I now have the tools I need to get thru both training, and work.

Congrats:
To Julie. She finished her fourth marathon over the weekend at the ET marathon outside of Vegas. Crazy thing- they start at effing midnight! She's also got Chicago coming up this year.

Come Swim With Me!

2009-07-14T17:25:00.000-07:00

Myself and another aquatics director are hosting a masters swim meet at the Vivion Rd. YMCA on July 25th. It’s a non-sanctioned, completely for fun event. Everyone from lap swimmers to hardcore athletes like yourselves can participate. It’s going to be outdoors, in a 50 meter pool.

There are several different events in all distances, and it will be a good time all around. I’m attaching the meet entry info. All you have to do is fill it out and mail it in. J Please pass these out to your swimmers, or forward this email along.

This isn’t a huge meet, and it will be a great time to either tune up for a triathlon or just enjoy the age group summer league feeling we had when swimming as kids.

Let me know what ya think!

I can really use the help promoting this event! Thank you!!

1st Annual YMCA of Greater Kansas City
Masters Summer Sizzler
Vivion Road Family YMCA
Kansas City, Missouri
Saturday, July 25, 2009

HOSTED BY: Vivion Road Family YMCA and the YMCA of Greater Kansas City

LOCATION: Outdoor pool area at Vivion Road Family YMCA

FACILITY: POOL Outdoor 50 meter by 25-yard pool, offering 8 lanes
of long course competition.
TIMING Manual stop watch timing and back up will be used.

RULES: 2009 United States Masters Swimming rules will govern the meet.

OFFICIALS: Meet Directors : Sara Garrett and Courtney Staton

WARM-UP AND
START TIMES: Saturday morning warm-ups at 7:00am with competition beginning at 8:10 am. Indoor 25 yard short course pool will be available for warm-ups immediately before and after each event. Indoor pool will be open to YMCA patrons, please be courteous to members using the facility. All times are Central Standard Time.

SAFETY: In the interest of safety and accident prevention, spectators, coaches and swimmers are asked to observe all posted pool rules and to conduct themselves in a safe manner.

ELIGIBILITY: Swimmers are not required to be registered with USMS or YUSA Swimming. This is an open, non-sanctioned event.

ENTRIES: Swimmers may enter up to six individual events. Please note, events may be run back to back. Breaks will be given between events if time is available. Bring volunteer, receive 20% off. Volunteer must be available at warm ups and stay through entire meet.

ENTRY FEES: YMCA Members: $20 up to four events. $5.00 charge for each additional event up to six events. Community Members: $30 up to four events. $5.00 charge for each additional event up to six events.
Make checks payable to: YMCA of Greater Kansas City and mail with entry packet.

ENTRY LIMIT: Swimmers may enter a maximum of 6 events.

DECK ENTRIES: Deck entries will be accepted at the discretion of the meet directors. Deck entries will not be seeded with an entry time. Deck entries will be seeded as “NT”.

ENTRY DEADLINE: Pre-registration is due by Monday, July 6, 2009 for discounted shirt offer. Entry forms, release waiver and entry fees are due to meet director by Monday, July 20, 2009 at 8:00am. All entries received after this deadline will be deemed “Deck Entry” and may be entered with “NT.”

EVENT SHIRTS: Cost of event shirts is $6.00 with pre-registration. If registered after July 6, 2009, cost of shirt is $12.00. An order form is included with entry sheet.

MAIL ENTRIES TO: Email entries to saragarrett@kansascityymca.org
Mail to:
Vivion Road Family YMCA
ATTN: Sara Garrett, Meet Director
1101 NE 47th Street
Kansas City, MO 64116
816.453.6600

SEEDING: All events are timed finals and will be seeded according to all applicable YUSA Swimming rules. Seed times will be times entered on the entry form. Entries with no time (NT) will be seeded by random draw. Notification of scratches will be appreciated in case lanes are needed for late entries.

Events will be swam co-ed and mixed age groups for purpose of seeding. Awards will be given based on gender and age group.

The 800 Free, 400 IM and 400 Free will be seeded fast to slow and combined if necessary to expedite the meet. We reserve the right to limit any event as necessary due to the session limitations. The courses and events will be split or combined at the discretion of the meet referee in the interest of running the most efficient meet.

Times entered shall be in Long Course Meters. If no LCM time available, please refer to: http://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/results/conversions.asp

SCRATCHES: All scratches should be submitted to the Clerk of Course as soon as possible to provide lanes for possible late entries.

AWARDS: Awards will be given to top three finishers in each age group category for both genders. Age groups are as follows: 20-29, 30-39, 40-49, 50-59, 60 +. Awards ceremony will take place at TBA.

SCORING: There will be no team scoring.

SWIMMERS
MEETING: A swimmers meeting will be held at 8:00am prior to the start of the meet.

CONCESSIONS: There will be a concession area provided upstairs in the spectator area. Heat sheets and t-shirts will also be for sale in this area.

Order of Events
1 400m Indiv. Medley 8 100m Freestyle
2 200m Freestyle 9 100m Backstroke
3 100m Breastroke 10 50m Butterfly
4 50m Backstroke 11 200m Indiv. Medley
5 100m Butterfly 12 50m Freestyle
6 400m Freestyle 13 800m Freestyle
7 50m Breastroke

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*This Portion Must Be Detached and Included With Entry Blank For All Mailed Entries*

2009 YMCA of Greater Kansas City
Masters Summer Sizzler
Waiver and Entry Blank

Waiver

In consideration of this entry, I hereby for myself, my heirs, administrators and assigns, waive and release any and all claims against the YMCA of Greater Kansas City, Vivion Road Family YMCA, meet directors, staff, officials, and volunteers for injuries and /or expenses incurred by me at this meet or while on the road to and from this meet. I am a bona fide amateur athlete and am eligible to compete in all the events I have entered.

Signature_________________________________
Printed Name ______________________________
Date_____________________________________

Kona Here I Come!

2009-06-29T20:07:00.000-07:00

... but not for Ironman.

I'm lucky enough to be taking a fabulous trip to the Big Island in September, for some friend's wedding.

But, I must admit something: I thought my first trip to HI would be with my bike en route to the World Championships. My excitement is stalled by how much I wish I was racing IM this year. And, how I wish I were racing IM Hawaii, not just stopping in as a tourist.

I sent a couple emails back and forth with the resident pro Bree about her hometown. She's promised me an OWS and I'm going to hold her to it. Also, I'll be just a month out from my open marathon, and training plans for that particular week look to include two 6 and one 12 mile runs. I'm hoping to pretend about an Ali'i Drive finish. Any chance there's a half marathon in Kona on September 12th? I'll have to look into it. (If i had planned better for my trip to MN over Memorial Day, I would have raced in the Stillwater MN half marathon.)

I don't think we're staying at the same resort as our friends, so I'm making some plans to ditch the hubs for 90 minutes a day to get in my workouts, and maybe get in a swim with Kona Masters, if they'll take me.

I'm trying to get myself psyched for the trip- I am really excited to go, but struggling with not be the terms I had planned. Plus, now after this trip, I have to convince the Hubs that we really will have enough money to make it to IM Cozumel in 2010 (which of course, the entry fee is due in November) to um, celebrate our anniversary (and race IM!).

In other news....

This whole gluten free thing is becoming less of a struggle, however, it's becoming increasingly difficult to stick to the Paleo plan. I had another allergic reaction over the weekend to something (oh, btw: I had an allergic reaction post IMKS 70.3 that put me in the ER). This one wasn't as bad, but made my lips poof out like I had Daisy of Love collagen lips. I also keep having crazy rashes. I've mostly determined that it's not actually allergies, but an auto-immune disease known as Celiacs. So, I suppose it's good I'm gluten free now. But, I still need to get the official tests done, and figure out what the hell is actually wrong with me.

The great thing is, I'm losing weight without too much effort. However, it's steadied off in the last week. The first 12.5lbs were a snap. I'd like to go another 20 of the L-Bs, but we'll see what happens.

It's not like I'm training for Ironman, as if I need another reminder.

Ironman Kansas 70.3

2009-06-16T18:16:00.001-07:00

Ironman Kansas 70.3
June 14, 2009

Goals: Finish. Have Fun. Touch Chrissie Wellington.

Saturday morning I worked. Same as everyday. Bike check in was also Saturday, which put a bit of time crunch on everything.

However, I made it out to Lawrence- Clinton Lake, in time to ride about 45min of the course (and go past Chrissie Wellington- totally almost crashed), and check my bike in. I met up with Shannan Garcia, another aquatics director, and we rode together. Then, we stood in the lllooong registration line. But, it wasn’t awful. Why? There was a live band playing. Just like Wildflower! I loved it.

After registration Shannan and I walked our bikes down to bike check in. This race was set up a lot differently than last year- two transition areas about a mile apart. The swim to bike TA was right next to the lake (duh). Before we could drop off our bikes, we had to get body marked. I despise night-before body marking, but whatever, I’m not the race director. The TA was tightly packed with about five rows set up in long columns to house the 2200 entries. Goldmember was snuggled up against several hot looking Cervelos, and I kissed him goodnight.

After bike check in, we trudged back up the hill to check out the bike to run TA. This one was much more spacious. We talked about driving the course, but it was already almost 6pm, and Shannan had to drive back to Olathe. I was lucky enough to be staying at my friend Jill’s house, and Julie was meeting me there to Sherpa me. Yay for Half Iron Sherpas.

Jules and I met up at Jill’s and decided to head out to dinner. Dinner is always an experience. Particularly since I am now eating Gluten free. I had shrimp and veggies, which were delish. I watched Julie take a couple bites out of the bread. She swears it wasn’t that good. I don’t believe her.
There were a few others in the restaurant that were racing on Sunday, but none of them were sporting the fancy schmancy compression socks I was. They. Are. Sexy.

After dinner we went back to Jill’s and I packed and repacked my now two transition bags. I was kind of frustrated. I have never felt so unprepared for a race. It was all mental. I’ve been working so much the race was really far off in my mind. When I packed items up for the weekend, I just walked around my house grabbing things and putting them in my bag. I’m glad I got the right stuff!

Jules and I snuggled up in bed- facing each other. Yes, like we are lovers. We totally are. I almost immediately fell asleep. Next thing I realized, the alarms were going off and it was go time!

This was my first race eating gluten free, so instead of a bagel, I ate an apple with natural peanut butter and a banana. Yum.

Sunday morning we arrived in the parking lot the same time as everyone else. So much for being early. It was very nice not having to walk my bike in from the parking lot, and the walk helped to um, loosen some stuff up, if you will.

When we made it to the main festival area, everything looked great. I got my run shoes and visor set up, then we proceeded down to the swim to bike TA. There was definitely a buzz in the air. A guy a few spots down kept asking everyone questions. I don’t know if this was his first race, or if he just had a lot of things to learn. I think it’s great to ask questions about the sport, but the morning of the race is not that time. I am antisocial in the TA. It’s part of my getting my game face on. At 6:20 a volunteer started walking thru the TA letting everyone know it was closing. Ahh! Time to scramble! I grabbed my wetsuit my father in law got me for Christmas (I love it!! It’s the Blue Seventy reaction sleeveless), some Chamois butter, swim cap and goggles. I made my way down to the swim start- very Wildflower-esq as well. The start is between some docks, and Mike Reilly was standing on one side getting everyone reved up. My waved started at 6:40, and had about 90 women in it. I like big swim waves. More feet to float off of!
Swim 1.2 Miles 33:36
I started at the front and inside- my favorite starting position. The sky was very overcast, and I was praying it wouldn’t start storming (IMKS 70.3 in 2008 a stormed brewed right at the finish- I was pulled off the run course with just a few more to go!). I felt really good thru the whole swim. I wasn’t real springy, but I felt good sighting. My one complaint with the swim was that I would like to see more big buoys. But, you get what you get and everyone is one the same course, right? Right. The water was dingy, big surprise for Kansas, huh? It got a little choppy on the way back, but the swim was over quick. Not my fastest time, but I was pleased.

T1 3:27
I completely took my time. It was starting to sprinkle and I knew it was gonna get nasty fast. I was slow and made sure I had everything I needed before hitting the course.

Bike 56 Miles 3:19.27
Right away there’s the gradual climb up to the festival area. Then a flat section, a couple ups and downs, the dam and smaller rollers with some fast sections. I felt like this year’s revised course was much easier than last years. However, after talking to several people, I figured out I’m just in better shape! It took me nearly 3:45 last year! Huge improvement. Saw my dad out on the course too, which was awesome. So glad he got to drive to Lawrence to see me zoom by for 20 seconds. I really was glad he made it out though! Dad was parked right by the last big hill headed back to the lake. I’m not sure what he said, but I think it was something along the lines of “It’s not a hill, it’s a hump.” Which made me laugh. I was bummed by having to stop to pee at mile 30, but it was better to stop for two minutes than waste 10 trying to pee on the bike. For the first three hours, we had cloudy skies, and sprinkles. Then, on the way back, I saw some blue sky start to perk up.

T2 1:58
Again, I wasn’t rushing, but I had a decent TA. I ran passed my slot because I was listening to how Chrissie Wellington went 4:14. Holy shiit that’s fast. Then I back tracked to my spot. Someone else had racked in it, so I had to return to favor to some poor person behind me. Sorry!

Run 13.1 Miles 2:47.33
Well, when I left the TA it was SUNNY. And hot. And humid. I like it. I felt pretty springy so I decided to just sit back and roll with my legs. The course is basically a two out and back with a loop in between that you repeat twice. Sounds confusing, I know, but it was AWESOME. It was a really good chance to be surrounded by spectators. I got to see Julie and her hubs Dan several times. Along with so many friends. Also, it was great to see the other people racing so much. Very very good course! Around mile 6 I was starting to fade a little bit, so with a little self pep talk on how I would only need to suffer another hour, I tried to pick up the pace. At about mile 9 I knew I had to pee and couldn’t hold it any more, so I “stretched” in a squat behind an aid station. OMFG. I had some bad monkey butt and didn’t realize until I pee’d. Yeeooouuuch!

Right after that Julie jogged up next to me, beer in hand, and encouraged me. So jealous. No more beer for me :sigh:

Soon, I was curving home onto the coolest finish chute. The chute had sunflowers down it, and a bright yellow carpet- just follow the yellow brick road! I finished and was stoked. Then a lady said, make sure you get your finisher’s medal from this lady- CHRISSIE WELLINGTON! Chrissie Freaking Wellington put my finisher’s medal on me, and HUGGED ME for a photo. Thus, fully accomplishing ALL of the day’s goals. I almost started crying!

And, after walking around a bit with Julie, we found Chrissie signing autographs and taking pictures. Of course, we stepped up. She signed my finisher’s medal. YAY!

All in all, I had an awesome race, only 6 min off of my PR from 2007. I’m very happy. I got to meet lots of Texas Gorillas (they’re awesome!) Also, the course and race directors were amazing. Great job to those guys.

Oh, I still haven't done a recap from the KC Triathlon. I will soon, promise.

Race ready!

2009-06-13T18:24:00.000-07:00

IM KS 70.3 is tomorrow! I feel good! Let's race!
-Courtney Staton
www.triathletebride.blogspot.com
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

I'm healing!

2009-06-10T16:49:00.000-07:00

So busy at work, haven't had time to blog. Finger is healing!

Ks 70.3 is this weekend- it's not the race I was hoping for, but there
will be other races. As you can see, my perspective on things have
changed a smidge. I'm excited to have a terrific time. I have two
objectives: finish and have FUN. I'm also pumped to meet my southern
Gorilla teammates! Go Gorillas!
-Courtney Staton
www.triathletebride.blogspot.com
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

Polycellular Granuloma

2009-05-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

I've been quite on the blog front for a while, mostly do to time. But,
I've also had a scary tumor type thing on my hand, which has had me
totally freaked out. Well, no worries, I had it surgically removed
today. So, here's the below and after.

Ps
Queasy stomach? Sorry. You should skip this post.
-Courtney Staton
www.triathletebride.blogspot.com
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

Coach Lady Wins!

2009-05-18T10:10:00.001-07:00

Way to go Coach Lady Gail Leveque on her AG win at Memphis in May.

Yes, she is a badass.

How to Recieve an Immediate DUI

2009-05-06T14:05:00.000-07:00

When you tip the breathalyzer like a bottle, you know you're phucked.

What I'm Doing.

2009-05-06T12:44:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend I worked A LOT. Then I painted a bedroom, moved upstairs furniture down stairs (by myself), steam cleaned and vacummed everything.

Apparently, this managed to twist, torque, pinch and pull something in my back. So, I'm taking it easy. I had a really great 10 days of training prior to that, so I'm a little frustrated. I'm going to give swimming a try this evening, and if it's ok, run after.

5 full weeks left until Kansas 70.3. I've got half of that until my season opener olympic. I'm not really feeling as prepared as I should, but my coach keeps writing awesome workouts, it's just a matter of me getting them in.

We'll see how things work out. Doing all I can with what I can, when I can.

Now Hiring!

2009-05-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

I'm hiring Lifeguards and Swim Lessons instructors. Prior and current certifications preferred, but will train.

Hiring for Brookside and east Downtown locations.

Manicures and bike work.

2009-04-24T19:41:00.000-07:00

Don't really mix. Just cuz I sport diamonds and French tips doesn't mean
I can't reset my groupo and derailleurs. Right?

-Courtney Staton
www.triathletebride.blogspot.com
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®
-Courtney Staton
www.triathletebride.blogspot.com
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

Me? On TV?

2009-04-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

So, I guess I'm going to get my 15 seconds of fame Monday. I'm doing a spot on KCTV News between 5am and 8am on the bennefits of swimming for children. Exciting, eh? So if you're one of the two million people in the metro, tune on in.

Dammit. I guess I better wax my eyebrows and fill my nails, eh?

http://www.kctv5.com/news/index.html

Still Truckin

2009-04-24T12:45:00.000-07:00

Yeah yeah yeah. I'm alive. I've been incredibly busy with work. Then got sick. So, I took a couple weeks off of training. It was ridiculously stupid. I could have taken off only half the time, but oh well. I've been training hard since last week again. Looking forward to a ride with Andrea tomorrow. First time we've rode together since 2006. I'm sure she'll put a hurtin' on me, but that will be okay. We have all morning to hurt. We both have 3:30 in the saddle to accomplish, so it's nice to pair up with someone.

I've made some changes to this year's racing schedule. No Redman, probably no Steelhead. But I'm adding in a Two Mile Open water race in August. I've never done and OWS race as a stand alone, and the winner gets a kayak. Sooo, I'm going to try to go somewhere near the 50 min mark. I'm not sure if breaking 50 is a possibility, but I'll give it ago.

Other than that, I'll do a couple extra local races. I will give it my all, and try to be a short distance racer when it comes to triathlons the last half of the summer. We'll see where it takes me. Like Coach Lady said, "It might not be what you really want to do, but that doesn't mean you get to half ass it."

Well said.

Playlist Update

2009-04-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

I've been in a different mood lately. Pms, likely, but the Twilight soundtrack is so sweet and amazing, it makes me want to snuggle my hubby. :)

So, I've added that.

Songs 42-53 are the Twilight soundtrack, plus one, Claire de Lune by Debussy. It's in the movie and I had to add it.

Oh, and Rob Pattinson has his first recorded song- number 51 (Never Think) and MAN does it tug at your heart.

I've Been Bitten

2009-04-04T06:27:00.000-07:00

If you are friends with me on facebook/twitter, then you know there's some WRONG with me.

I am OBSESSED.

Last week a rented a handful of movies from Redbox, all of them I had heard at one point that they were GOOD, but I didn't think I'd ever watch them all. Wednesday I left work early and went home to get some work done around the house. I walked thru the door, and dropped my purse on the table. The contents of course made it unstable, and everything spilled out, including my now over due movies. Damn, I thought to myself, those need to go back. Oh, well, hey, here's the one I haven't watched. Might as well get my money's worth... I put the DVD in the player, and climbed on the couch.

Two hours later, I sat, open jawed and wide eyed. I blinked at the tv screen a few times, digesting the movie. Then I went thru the special features. OMG. To hell with it. I started the movie again.

I've been gushing since then to everyone who will listen about this movie. And those that will even pretend to listen. Then, my sister in law, an author in LA, sent me this link. The, um, stolen book.

I keep hearing that the set- four published books in all, with the "half book," are even better than the movie. I'm not going to try to go buy just one, so later this week I'll go get the whole set. ... I should probably call and reserve one...

Last night, I was again spewing the obsessiveness to the latest victim, Chrissychriserton. "I know, I know. It sounds like some dumb teenage highschool vampire story. Lame, I know, but I can't even put into words how amazing this storyline is. The movie is phenomanal and the book that I read is unbelievable (and I read ALOT). I can't wait to read them all, and I already have the date for the next movie." Chrissychristerton agree to re-rent the movie last night.

I turned to her, at the end of the movie, and saw the look on her face, the same as mine just three days prior.

She turned to me, "Play it again. Twilight is the best movie I have ever seen in my entire life."

All I had to do was press Play.

http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/twilightseries.html

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/

No Baby Bug Yet

2009-03-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

But this was absolutely freaking hilarious.

Basically, this blog calls out all the parents that I think should have had to pass a test in order to give birth.

There Will Be No Ironman in 2009

2009-03-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

They couldn't pick a better time as that in life.

It ain't too early and it ain't too late.

Startin' as a farmer with a brand new wife.

Count me out. Cross me off. Take me off the roster. After much deliberating over the last few weeks, I've decided to removed Redman from my schedule this year. I started a new job in November as an aquatics director for two pools run by one of the largests associations in the country, and my work load has increased exponentially. From what I hear, it only gets worse. I have had some great training from January until the middle of March, when spring swim lessons picked up. In eight days I logged 68 hours on the clock, not including my commute. That's a lot of time taken away from my home, husband, and animals, let alone my training responsibilities. I've not been one to half ass things, and I have a true respect for the distance. I've done an iron distance event to finish one, and now I want to compete in one. If I'm not fully into the training, the recovery, and the nutrition both mentally and physically, I will not have a likely chance at meeting my goals.

This would be an expensive trip to set myself up for failure.

As we have all seen in the economy recently, our expendable income has become tucked neatly under our pillowcases. It makes it all the more harder to justify an expense at which I may not even make the starting line.

Instead, I am going to focus on a local olympic distance race, Kansas 70.3, and Steelhead 70.3. I will add in some August/September local sprints to keep myself occupied, and I am still planning to persue the Kansas City marathon in October.

As coach lady told me, "Going half the distance doesn't make it half as challenging."

I'm still determined to make this my best season yet.

For No Real Reason

2009-03-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

This will at least bring a smile to your face.

Let the Kids Ride

2009-03-19T12:07:00.001-07:00

Click here to see how this ban is affecting our kids!

New Lead Ban Legislation Drastically Affects Motorcycle Industry
bayodome Wednesday, February 11th, 2009 6,658 views
Rumors and speculation have been flying around for a few days now on a law that could affect small motorcycles considerably. As of yesterday, those rumors were confirmed in the form of a new policy that falls under the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA). The policy is a restriction on lead found in children’s toys and products.
According to the policy, put together by the Consumer Product Safety Commision (CPSC), any product intended for children with lead at more than 600ppm is hereby banned from retail. The intention is to minimize the possibility of children ingesting trace amounts of lead that can be found in small products such as toy cars, as children have the tendency to put things in their mouths. Although the target was small products, the blanket clause states that any product, large or small, intended for children is now banned. Minibikes have traditionally been marketed towards children 12 and under, so they unfortunately fall into the larger category, despite not being toys. All motorcycles have certain amounts of lead that can be found in everything from the aluminum in various parts, to the engine cases and wiring.
What does this mean? According to a Honda spokesperson, they are advising all of their dealers to no longer sell any inventoried CRF50s, CRF70s, and CRF80s. As this point one can assume the other manufacturers are taking similar actions. Bear in mind, this is not a permanent solution and is essentially precautionary at the moment, but it could certainly have a long standing effect on the motorcycle industry as a whole. After all, many dealerships greatly depend on minibike sales in good times and bad. As the details of this ban filter in we will do our best to keep the motocross community informed.
In the meantime, to read about the CPSC policy enacted on February 10th, click here.
There is also a waiver fighting to keep motorycles from falling under this policy which can be found at http://www.tomself.com/

http://motocross.transworld.net/2009/02/11/new-lead-ban-legislation-drastically-affects-motorcycle-industry/

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-03-18-motorcycle-kids_N.htm?csp=34

Warning for dog owners!

2009-03-13T12:53:00.000-07:00

If you are an owner of a dog that belongs to a 'dangerous breed' category and you also have a small child please take this as a warning. Don't leave your dog with the child unattended under any circumstances. Only a little moment was enough for the following to happen. See the photo ....

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.

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(Courtesy LawGalKC)

The Super Swim Set

2009-03-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

Well, it wasn't 9000 yards or anything ridiculous like that. But DDAAYYYUM GINA, this was hard.

The grand total is actually only 2600 yards, with only 2000 of those being fast. ...

400 warm-up2 x 1000 time trial, 2 minutes rest between200 cool-down

Results:

a. 1000 13:26 (1:20.36 av) b. 1000 14:27 (1:26.42 av)
As you can see, the first one I went pretty damn hard on. I wasnt close to recovered for the second 1000. I negative split the second one as a started feeling better again somewhere around the 500 mark. WOW. I think my arms may fall off tonight after the bike/yoga sesh. (Yes, I said yoga, only I'm doing it at home on my own this time. I found an old Yoga DVD that I have never used before, so I'm going to give it a try.)

TGFTRD.

(Thank God for Tuesday Rest Days)

Whew.

2009-03-08T19:16:00.000-07:00

Friday- Sunday

Swam 3000 yards. Bike 2:30 in pure wind hell- truthfully, it was fun. I got to ride outside for the first time this year. Run 3:00 total time.

Three days in a row of outdoor workouts accomplished. Yes, did you see that? OUTDOOR. Either I'm a hardass, or I'm an idiot. But I rode outdoors for the first time this spring on Saturday. In near gail force winds. But, even though it was a struggle the whole time, I really enjoyed myself. Once back at the house, I had a 2 mile run. That hurt. I ran Friday evening without socks, which left a couple yicky blisters that were far from healed.

I then spent Saturday afternoon and evening with Grandma- did a little Bass Pro Shop wandering, made fondue, drank some wine, and giggled a lot. Great day.

Then all night I spent pulling pillows over my head to drown out the thunderstorms, hail, and the weather radio which thought it would be fun to go off every 90min to alert me of a tornado watch three counties away.

This morning I woke a little less fresh than I wanted to, and continued to listen to the rain and wind. Ugh. I was not looking forward to today's long run. Usually I like to get up and get things over with by breakfast.. err.. lunch. Instead, I tried my hand at some patience, which allowed me to get out the door at 5:00pm. I ran until just before sunset- yay for Daylight Savings. The wind died down shortly before 5pm, and the clouds began to dispearse. Longest run of the season- accomplished.

Now I sit watching Russell Brand, whom I find high-larious, chit chat away on how he got screwed at the MTV VMA's. The pups are napping- one on the couch and one in front of the door as if he's a draft block.

Tomorrow's another doozy- stretch-swim-bike. Swim is actually a main set of 2 x 1000 time trial. I have to admit I've been swimming very well lately, and this will be a true test. Yikes. I'm actually nervous about a workout- swim of all things.

Tueday's a rest day- it's much needed. Must be a good week of workouts when you're counting down to rest day.

You're a Yogie.

2009-03-05T15:24:00.000-08:00

Mondays and Thursdays workout schedules usually invovle something along the lines of deep stretching or yoga.

Pff.. Yoga.

I ALWAYS picture Yoda eating yogurt when I hear the word yoga. I dont know why.

Well, today, I had some time in my 11 hour workshift, and decided to catch an 11 am yoga class.

The class had a lot of sitting in it. And some breathing. Some strange poses with some strange names. I wouldn't say it did any aligning of my Chi or left me feeling at one with my inner self. It was, however, something different out of the norm. So, since my March work schedule leaves my Thursdays pulling long hours, I have decided that I'm going to take the one hour a week and do the damn thing.

Even if I never realize my inner calm, it's something outside of the swim-bike-run-lift I see daily.

A Test of a Wife

2009-03-04T09:44:00.000-08:00

So, being this site is the Triathlete Bride, I found this quiz amusing.

Apparently, I suck as a housewife. Good thing I have that old 60 hr a week job and 15 hrs of training to keep me away from home. Crap... do you think that's why I suck? Sorry Husband!

As a 1930s wife, I am
Very Poor (Failure)

Take the test!

Scoring:

0-24 - Very Poor (Failure)
25-41 - Poor
42-58 - Average
59-75 - Superior
76+ - Very Superior

Product Review- Finis Lap Counter

2009-03-02T08:42:00.000-08:00

One of my masters swimmers recently made a purchase of a Finis lap counter. Tim loves it, but I wasn't so sure. If you do open turns, then this product is fabulous if you're looking for fairly accurate splits and lap counting.

However, when dangling under water... not so much. The lap counter is connected to 2 metal poles with a wire hook that hangs over the gutter. It's not super sturdy, so the wires loosen every time you hit the touch pad (the main face of the lap counter).

I was trying to be gentle when turning, I'm no pansy and when I flip my feet hit the wall HARD. A couple times I was concered I may have, um, injured the counter. About every third turn I would tap the counter at an odd angle, which would send it scooting up the side of the wall, and into the gutter. That meant that 50 yards later I would be fishing the counter out to reattach it to the wall.

I think it's a good product, and fitness swimmers will probably get the most out of the Finis lap counter. Those doing flip turns will probably not enjoy the product as much as others, and, if you're a trained competitive swimmer, you used to counting the laps in your head, so you don't really *need* this device.

It was fun to play with in my 30 min easy swim, and it accurately logged all my laps execpt two- I either missed the touch pad, or I tapped it too lightly on the side.

If you are just starting swimming, or need a way to remember your laps- this is a great device for you. The rest of us will just keep repeating numbers in our heads and taking splits on our wtaches.

Biggest Loser is RIGHT.

2009-02-26T11:54:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty damn sure this is the same guy doing "Ironman" or what he calls an Ironman (per the Feb. 10 airing):
The contestant said it's "Over a 1.5 mile swim *wrong*, and 80 mile bike *wrong*, and a half marathon *right*"

Correct distances of a HALF ironman are 1.2 swim, 56 bike, 13.1 run.
Ironman distances are 2.4, 112, 26.2.

JEBUS. I'm pissed at that guy and at NBC now.

http://blogs.kansascity.com/tvbarn/2009/02/the-biggest-los.html

"The Biggest Loser" -- or is that "Biggest Liar"? -- fabricates account of contestant finishing marathon
One of my long-longtime readers, David Kleeman, writes: "I'm a huge fan of 'The Biggest Loser.' Love the show and all that it stands for. I'm also big into the marathoning community and knew back in January that one of the members of the Black team (either Blaine or Dane) had attempted a marathon in Arizona, but did not complete it. Instead, he had been picked up by a van along the course and dropped back down somewhere prior to the finish and then he crossed the finish line and collected a medal a la Rosie Ruiz. He is not listed in the finishers results (it was the Arizone Desert Classic on 1/31).
"What I didn't know was how the producers at NBC would report it. I was so disgusted to see that at the end of the Biggest Loser last night they did the whole segment on Dane and his wife doing a marathon and then reported that Dane completed the 26 mile race in 3 hours and 53 minutes. What else is completely falsified???"
David -- whose integrity is beyond question, as far as I'm concerned -- also passed along this blog posting from someone else who ran the same marathon and wrote:
"Oh, and those cameras behind me? Those are for Dane Patterson, a contestant on The Biggest Loser. He was there with his wife, running the marathon, though J started calling him The Biggest Liar. He and his wife were several miles behind me throughout the entire race, but around mile 17 they got picked up by a van and driven to the end of the course, where they filmed the grand 'crossing the finish line' finale with all the family cheering. I'm hoping that they televise it as a half marathon, since I know he ran at least that far, which is truly a great accomplishment. It'd be a shame if he got coerced into being less than honest, poor guy, especially since he's LDS like us."
And then this appeared in the comments the night before the broadcast:
"Hi! I'm Carli Patterson wife to the biggest loser contestant Dane Patterson. I had herd about your post and wanted to give you an explanation of what happened. I am so proud of my husband and his accomplishments. This has been an amazing experience for our family and unfortunatly this marathon has been a little exaggerated. In this industry you are always on a time frame and sometimes it is out of your control. We had stopped along the way to film at a water station and to make up for lost time our producers drove us ONLY 3 miles up the road. I am sorry if this has offended you in any way, but we are still incredibly happy about the 23 miles we ran. We were not listed as completing the marathon. Dane is an honest LDS Dad and I hope that they do say he completed this marathon because had time allowed he would have!"
Unfortunately Carli is contradicted by her own husband, who says in the above video clip, "It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life to run side by side with my wife for an entire marathon."
Anyway, I have put in an inquiry with the NBC publicist on the show and hopefully we will have a response up here shortly.
(thanks to Melissa Vetricek for the original tip!)
UPDATE: In the comments, Jerry Nairn, another racer, says the Pattersons did not volunteer the information that they had van-aided times. "They were reported to the race director and disqualified," he writes, "not that they were honest about it."

Fun Run

2009-02-21T10:31:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's run wasn't really fun, and wasn't enjoyable, but I couldn't come up with a better title for today's post, so I'll leave it at that. One thing did make me laugh. I ran past the local high school just as class was letting out. A sheriff's car had a smaller SUV pulled over on the side of the road. I could tell it was a student, and that he was standing outside of his vehicle. As I approached, I saw the patrolmen inside his own car. The student, meanwhile, was scrubbing the windows of his suv. Why? Well, he had a bunch of, um, phallic symbols on the side of it, along with "i Heart C*ock." HAHAHA. I remember my friends tagging my car with shoe polish in highschool. It was more like "CC Loves Sophmores" or something dumb. I can just picture the cop, "Uh Son, do you love c*ck?" "no sir, it's.. my friend.." "Get out and clean it off." HAHAHA.
One great thing about yesterday's run was the weather. Sunny, and shorts and t-shirt. Although, i haven't been running much outside, so my knees are stiff today. Tomorrow's long run will be a challenge as the temps are far from shorts weather.

i broke up today's bike workout- 90 min in the am and 90 when I get home from work. I overselpt my alarm and didnt have time to do it all before leaving for work. Ah, the joys of working 60 hr weeks. :)

No News is Good News

2009-02-17T10:14:00.000-08:00

Well, last week was a recovery week, so, I didn't really have much to talk about. And I use the term recovery losely- I really wasn't spot on my workouts, which made Monday rather painful (swim, bike, yoga).

In the time since my last post, however, I did have a night out with the girls (Chrissy and Smashley), and enjoyed some awesome homemade fondue for Valentine's Day with the Husband.

Wii Fit WHAT?

2009-02-04T12:50:00.000-08:00

If you're not over the age of 60, I have decided that you should not use a Wii Fit as your source of exercise. Ya, ya, I know. "It's a great way to get started," "Not everyone can run," "I don't have money for a gym membership," "I get bored working out."

Bullshit. You're lazy, and want to have some type of "game" to make working out "fun." Guess what, it's not supposed to be FUN. Working out. Gee, what's the root of the term? Oh, I know: WORK. Fitness is fun purely by the end goal. To be fit, lean, and healthy.

I applaud those "Active Older Adults" (a term used here at work), for using their Wii Fits. Those AOA's like my in-laws. My father-in-law has had a stroke, a heart attack and is in his mid 60's. He GETS something out of his Wii fit, as it's used as a rehab tool. But, one more thing- he also has a Gazelle in his house which gets as much use.

Back to my original paragraph: All of the excuses people have for why a Wii Fit is better than traditional excercises just shows me how the American/ Western cultures are placing true health as a lower priority to the "get-fit-quick" schemes. Even the FDA approved Ali. So, if people would rather take a pill that makes them shart themselves and "workout" using a video GAME, so be it. I on the other hand, will work on eating better and persuing a healthy lifestyle.

Even Laura Croft didn't get her curves by playing video games.

ps
You're phucking kidding me, right? Ya, this is definitely a "work out."

Passing the Info Along

2009-02-03T12:42:00.000-08:00

The Kansas City Blazers Swim Team is in search of an up-and-coming coach to, among other things, assist Head Coach Pete Malone with deck coaching of the Elite group. The candidate should have one to two years of coaching experience and be willing to be directed within the existing program. This is a unique opportunity to work for one of the nation's premiere clubs, gather experience and learn from one of our country's most renowned coaches, and work together with a tremendous staff.

Duties are to include, but are not limited to:

Deck coaching of the Elite group – swimmers aged 14 and above focusing on competition at the sectional level and beyond. Up to 9 workouts per week in the morning and afternoon.

Deck coaching of the Kansas City Blazers Masters team three to four times per week under the direction of Head Masters Coach Derek Shipp.

Communication link to all families and athletes in the Elite group.

Various data gathering and reporting as it relates to the Elite group athletes.

The compensation for this position will be $24,000-$25,000/yr with allowances of $50/month for cell phone, $50/month for fuel, and $200/month reimbursement for health insurance or tuition reimbursement. This position is classified as seasonal full time and is not intended to grow into a regular full-time position. This is an excellent opportunity for a candidate that is looking to grow into full time coaching and is continuing their education. Candidates must possess excellent communication skills as well as the ability and willingness to adapt their methods in order to work within the framework of an established club. Proficiency in Hy-Tek software is a must. Advanced working knowledge of spreadsheet and database software is preferred. HTML and web editing experience is a plus.

The opening is expected to be filled by early March 2009 with employment to begin no later than April 1. Candidates should send resume of qualifications and references to Lead Administrative and Elite Coach Scott Bliss at scott.bliss@jocogov.org or mail them to Scott Bliss / 6501 Antioch Rd / Shawnee Mission, Kansas / 66202

The G-Spot

2009-02-02T11:13:00.000-08:00

No, you dirty birdies! I'm talking about Gorilla Multisport!! Coach Lady, et al., have revamped their website! it looks awesome. Not only is the website new and improved, but Gorilla Multisport Coaching, now has THREE affiliates, ok well, four if you count the original:
Gorilla Multisport Coaching - Dallas/Fort Worth, TX
Gorilla Multisport Performance - Oceanside, CA
Gorilla Multisport AZ - Mesa, AZ
Gorilla Multisport SoCal - Carlsbad, CA

Oh, and check it out, I also got myself me own profile! whoo hoo. :)

The Triathlete Bride: It's Toddler Time

OMC Women's Tri

Kickball Should Be in the Olympics

Um Hai.

Give Thanks

Belated Photo Friday

Ironman Access: Cancelled and Thoughts

Yo Baby, How 'Bout Some Fries With Dat Shake?

Photo Phriday

Well That Figures

SWAGGER WAGON

What Now?

Hi. An Update.

Eli: A Race, er, Birth Report

Eviction Papers

All the Pregnant Ladies

23 Miles Straight Down

Come Swim In My Meet!!!!!!

Crown of Favor

ELF Says It Best

For the Fun of It

Crunch Time- 17 days to go

Yep.

Oh SlowTwitch

If I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner

Over It.

YMCA of Greater Kansas City hopes to continue growth under new leadership - KansasCity.com

First Friday Randoms

Me. An Update.

Boob Gate 2010

Chill Out, Yo!

Goals: To Set, or Not to Set

I Miss It.

He's uh Gonna Come in Here, and Kick My Ass.

25ish Week Update

Running: Rock the Parkway 10k

Stolen: Things People Say

Like a Basketball Wearing Two Cantaloupes

A Woman's Week at the Gym

Farmville is dumb.

Pregnant Olympian

Swim, Work, Run

I Can Shout It!

Night Terror

A Thursday Open Letter

Fashion Clean Out and Clean Up

If I Were a Rich Girl

What's All This Training For?

Decade in Review

Preggo and The Heart Rate

Hold Up, Heeeyy

Tagged?!

Where Are This Child's Parents!?

Twenty-Ten: Yep, that's different.

RePost for Amy Phillips :: Kick My A....nerobic Threshold

Waddell & Reed Kansas City Marathon 2009

It's Always Sunny in Kansas City

I'll Be Damned.

Where Was I Before I Stopped Breathing?

Kick My A....nerobic Threshold

Big Scary Run Recap

Hitler Hates Kayne

*The* Big Scary Run

Oouf.

Longest Solo Run Ever (And I Pooped in a Field)

Let Me Crawl Out from Under This Rock

Come Swim With Me!

Kona Here I Come!

Ironman Kansas 70.3

Race ready!

I'm healing!

Polycellular Granuloma

Coach Lady Wins!

How to Recieve an Immediate DUI

What I'm Doing.

Now Hiring!

Manicures and bike work.

Me? On TV?

Still Truckin

Playlist Update

The Big Scary Run